Young Writers Society

hey @FourLeafClover i im here to drop an review

should we start okay

First off it was nice that you put Everything about him and turned it in to a poem that was really sweet of you that you actually put his whole information and made like its a poem that was so wonderful of you and you should do a part 2 put as a story through that would turned that as a good story

my compliment is that i had enjoyed your poem and hearing about a boy and his family next time you should do like what the boy did or that like a good story about him

how you can improve is you should next time do a story that goes wit the boy and stuff but i know you are working and writing more new stuff for now


have a nice day of writing!!!

~Jay~

Hey, Rosewood here! *pretend there's a rose emoji here*

I just like to say that I just love the description and information you bundled into this character! I can see that it really sculpts this person into reality- or at least in the fictional world we all like to create in our heads...

For starters, I'd like to emphasize the take on your characters' names. You gave them each "normal" sounding or "classic" names with a flair of the supernatural- which by the description at the top of this layout is what it looks like you were going for! I'd also like to point out that you added diversity in the character's sexualities, (assuming Rylan isn't surrounded by just heteros lol), and it definitely normalizes every aspect in the LGBTQ+ community- which I LOVE.

And while this may have not been the most helpful writing-wise, if you post any chapters or stories relating to this, I'd love for you to tag me in that and I'll give it my best shot!

Keep writing!

Hi FourLeafClover,

Mailice here with a short review!

I've never reviewed a character before, so I guess I can't say much if the character appeals to me or not, but I try to give myself an overview of the character so I can then give a first opinion.

In the "first" part (I mentally split it up a bit) we get the most important core information such as name, age, gender, and other "ID information". I think a height would definitely go in there (maybe a weight if that's not too much). In any case, you have valuable information together.

Then you get an overview of the family. I think it's good as a first draft, but it's a bit confusing, especially when the reader starts to get familiar with the names. I would try to make a better overview by structuring the family: "siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins". That definitely helps when you're reading up on where exactly you'd have to look.

The pet seems cute!

I think the Appearance would be better above the Family category, so that you have "three bigger chapters", so to speak; personal information, friends and family, and further information, where the Personality Traits, etc. are inserted.

In Appearance I think you can expand a bit more on what clothes Ryan likes to wear, as I assume he rarely walks around in the same clothes for a week. D You can also expand a bit on the Personality Traits, maybe some examples, because you put "aggressive" in there. For me, it gives the feeling that I don't want to have much to do with Ryan.

To expand on the previous point, you could add a short CV, what stages he has already been through, or moments that are very memorable to him. Then you also create a connection with the Personality Traits, which makes it much easier to read through the personality.

In general, I think you have built it up well and have already given valuable information. For an "info page" where you can always go back if you don't know something about a character directly, it's very clear. I've reached the end here, and I have to say that the character seems very interesting and is also well developed.

Have fun writing!

Mailice