My Story.

My story

Towards the end of my sophomore year, on March 26, I met the guy that would change my life forever: Antonio Benitez. Never before have I actually paid attention to him, but for some reason, I wanted to talk to him. The first time we didn't talk for long because I was in a relationship. After that relationship had ended however, I tried again, and this time, we made plans to meet one another. It felt as if the day came and went. From my home, not too far away, I walked to the Sonic on Valencia where we were supposed to meet. Planning to go swimming, but not having my bathing suit, I wore a pink bra that looked like a swim top, some boy short underwear with a see through peach colored cotton shirt and shorts. That's when I seen him sitting there in a plain red beach tank, cargos, and black/red Jordan shoes. As I walked up to him, he stood and the first thing I noticed about him was his height and his presence. Just looking at him I knew he was stubborn, arrogant, probably stupid, and worst of all, a ladies man. I told myself,"I don't want a relationship with this guy. We'll just be friends and that's it." Little did I know, in about 30 minutes, my mind would change. We walked to his dad's apartment at Casa Bella so we could hang out for a little bit and get things together. I sat on his bed and watched him, a habit I developed from my previous relationship. Though I seemed calm on the outside, as I sat there I couldn't help but soon start asking myself "What was I doing here?" Internally, I was somewhat scared. Not of him, but what might happen between him and I. He asked if I have ever smoked hookah, and I told him I've never smoked in my life. After being called a good girl, the only things going through my mind were all the bad things I had done. He sat down on the bed next to me, leaned in and kissed me. As he started to lean in I thought "OMG. What is he doing?" but then I felt myself lean in and thought "What am I doing?" The moment our lips had touched I knew there was going to be more for us, even if I didn't want to admit it. With a slight breeze in the air, we finally left to go swim but the water was too cold . . for him. We left to the other pool, hoping it'd be warmer since it had more access to the sun, but it too was cold. Going back to the apartment, cold and wet, I had to admit I was actually having a good time with him. Besides the awkward introductions, there wasn't a moment I wasn't really smiling or blushing. Realizing I had forgotten to bring an extra pair of clothes, I wore his clothes and we left for eegees where we each bought a large strawberry/Pina Colada and he got a BLT without tomatoes. As we were eating and talking, my ex boyfriend walks into eegees with another girl. Feeling uncomfortable, my body tensed up, and I felt a rage go through me. It wasn't the fact he was with another girl, but the fact he had lied to me about the reason we had broken up. Pursing my lips, I ignored him and tried to enjoy eating my eegee. I was surprised to find Antonio had noticed this change in attitude, and told me not to worry about him and after about a few minutes, we were back to laughing and smiling. We left to the apartments again where we cuddled for a while, listened to some music, and had sex. As he lied on the bed and I got dressed, he asked me if we were going to be together or if this was it. I was hesitant to answer. It felt every thought was going through my mind in 3 seconds. He walked me home that night and as I lied in bed, I thought of how the day played out, and how life's events are surely not what we expect most the time. I met Antonio wanting nothing more than a friendship but by a turn of events, I left his girlfriend.

Over the course of a few months, we broke up a few times. The first time on April 26, a month later. Getting back together on May 2, we broke up again 3 days later on the 5th. Naturally, Antonio and I stopped talking after the break up and even though it hurt to be broken up, I felt like I had to change. To make myself better than what I was before so I focused more on myself. I donated my hair to cancer patients, focused on the elections for student council, spent a lot of time with my friends, and even started to hang out with some male friends. Little did I know this time would be short lived. As the month of June came around, the last thing I expected was any communication from Antonio but sure enough, he messages me telling me he had been in jail for a week and while he was in there he thought about the relationship between him and I and wanted to work things out. I agreed to take him back, and once again we were together again. At the time, he was staying at his uncle's house on Mission and Ajo, and it made it a little hard to go see him. I told my mom I was going to stay the week at my friend Gabby's house, but instead I stayed with him. For 5 days, I stayed with him at the house. We played with the kids, watched movies with them, and for a moment, it felt like we were living together. I went home for a day to get more clothes, and to do some chores before I went back over. I could never forget that night. It was the night before his court date, and I remember Antonio breaking down. About everything. His family, his courts, and even about going to jail. After his breakdown however, we stayed up till 2 in the morning laughing about everything and talking about things we hoped for in the future. For a moment, everything was perfect but soon he moved back with his dad and sure enough, he was going back to his old ways. After so much partying, and flirting with girls broke up with him. This time, it seemed like it'd be the last time.

July came around when I realized I had missed my period.

Looking down at the home pregnancy test, it felt as if time itself stopped. A knock at the door breaks the trance I had been in, and I quickly come back to reality. I had told my mom I was going to babysit a family friends kids and, without suspicion, I was able to go to her house and take a pregnancy test. With the two pink lines clearly visible against the white plastic, I called in Priscilla and told her the news. After a moment of silence, she told me we'd go to the clinic tomorrow to double check, and i reluctantly agreed. For the rest of the night, we acted as if nothing had happened but all I could think about was the growing fetus inside of me. As we all got ready for bed, I thought about Antonio. We hadn't talked since we had broken up and it made me wonder what was going to happen between the two of us. A part of me dreaded having him back in my life, but there was also the part of me that hoped we would get back together. I drifted off to bed, only to wake up anxious and uncomfortable. I knew what the day had to bring. After eating breakfast, she took me to the clinic on Valencia where I took yet another test. The only thing I remember from being in that office was the nurse coming in saying "You are pregnant." Not knowing how to respond, I sat there stunned. The nurse started doing my paperwork, and giving me information but while she talked, all I saw were her lips moving. There was no sound, and by my reaction she knew this was unexpected news for me. Even if I had taken a test before this one, until she started filling out my proof of pregnancy, it all seemed so surreal. She comforted me by telling me that she too was a teen mom. Leaving the office, I knew I needed to tell Antonio, so we headed over to his house. I knocked on the door, and Antonio walked outside with me. I could tell he had just woken up because his eyes were squinted and his voice seemed drowsy. He sat on the chair outside and i presented him with the paper that proves i'm pregnant. He didn't have much to say accept "I'll be there for the baby, but we're not getting back together." Internally, I was sort of hurt but I told him that'd be okay. He walked inside and told his dad as I was leaving. He stopped me to ask for the paper to show his dad. His dad asked "and you're sure it's ours?" and both Antonio and I replied "Yes."

Even after we found out I was pregnant, we didn't talk to each other. He tried to tell me to stop telling people he was the father and I asked him if he rejected the baby. When he replied no, I told him then I could tell whoever I like. I knew why he told me that. He didn't want word to spread he had a baby on the way because it would mess up his reputation with partying and girls. He didn't believe me either. I wasn't shocked by this and I expected him not to be here at all for me or his child so I didn't bother with him at all.

Telling my mom was a different story. I knew she'd be disappointed in me, especially since she knew my plans of going into the Air Force as a pilot and she didn't want us to be like her. It hurt to know I had let my mom down. I decided to tell her on July 25. As she was sitting on the couch, I set the proof of pregnancy document near her and sat down on the other couch, preparing myself for the worst. She looked at me and asked are you kidding me? When I told her no, she told me to go to my room. As I walked into my room and closed the door, I heard her get up, walk into her room, and shut the door. We stayed in our rooms for 4 hours before she came into my room and told me to go into her room to talk. As I sat on her bed, I didn't want to look at her. I could only imagine what her face looked like as she sat there staring at me. I had done some pretty bad things in the past but this put the icing on the cake. With tears streaming down her face, she sat there and explained to me how she was mainly hurt I didn't go to her first. I couldn't blame her either. Before I had told her everything about me, and this just seemed like a betrayal, and seeing her cry made me hurt even more. As the weeks went on my mom was bitter, and life was miserable. She had threatened to take my child away from me, threatened to call the cops on Antonio if he even tried being involved, we fought constantly and it seemed there was no way out. However, as my pregnancy went farther and farther along, she became more and more understanding. She too was pregnant at a young age, but had a miscarriage. Remembering how alone she felt at the time, she started to allow me to go visit Antonio in the jail and started accepting not only our relationship with each other but the baby too. Now, my mom is happy she has a grandson coming. She sees him as a blessing. She's happy and excited to finally have a boy in our family, and our relationship now is a lot closer than before. I can tell her literally everything now, and even if we do get into an argument, by the next day we're fine. I know I'll never be alone as long as I have my mom by my side . .

A month later, on August 13, I get a phone call from his dad, Rudy, telling me Antonio is once again in jail. I ignored him for a week or two until he told me Antonio was asking for me. I didn't visit Antonio till 3 weeks after he had requested for me. With his brother, Rene, and his dad, I went to visit him at the county jail. To my surprise, we laughed the whole time and for being a jail visit, was fun. It was at that moment, I knew our feelings for each other were much more stronger than what we thought. When his first letter arrived, I was more than anxious to open it for the fear of what was written on the paper but to my surprise, it was pleasant and while I read it, a huge grin filled my face. It read:

"Maria - My True Love

Hey beautiful . . . I miss you a lot. It sucks seeing the baby from over a camera. When I get out I hope we can be together again. I know we had a hard time but we had a lot of fun also . . . send me any pictures of you that you can. I miss seeing your beautiful smile <3 I don't really know how to start a letter so I'm going to stop LOL . . Just know I do love and do want to be apart of yours and the baby's life.

-Antonio Benitez"

From his first letter, I knew we would be together again and this time for good. Our families were coming together, and even though Antonio is in jail, things are pretty content. Everything isn't perfect, but things aren't the worst either.

Becoming pregnant as a teen was not something I had planned, but I can't say I regret being pregnant either because even though my son is unborn, when I feel him move, see his sonograms, hear his heartbeat, and watch my belly grow, I feel a sense of love and protection over him. I'm aware things are going to be harder in life, but I'm confident that with my family's help , I will be able to overcome this challenge.