Spagettifacation!!!

Hello, I'm PonyzandPokez, I'm reviewing this poem of yours about spaghetti? It sounded strange so I gave it a shot. Here's what I thought of it.:
"Floating THREW TIMELESS space without any haste calmly floating around wishing to be on the ground ADMIRING the beautiful glowing stars lighting up the dark sky I start flying toward a dark object I'M getting faster and faster getting closer and closer its slowly getting dark I cant see at all my feet are falling faster then my head I feel a pulling and a twisting all over my body I feel like a tube of toothpaste trying to get out the last drop I try scream in AGONY but not a sound ESCAPES I start to bleed and my bones crack very loudly louder then a train I am slit in half then I am into 4 then into 8 then 16 the process goes on till nothing remains no one heard my painful CRIES will anyone know I'M gone? will I be remembered or never known because of the day I was swallowed by a black hole."
The words in caps are spelled incorrectly, or the grammar for the context makes them wrong. I added a question mark because of Grammar rules, this is a GREAT poem but next time you might wanna proof-read it before you publish it. Here are your ratings.:
Spelling: %45
Grammar: %65
Formatting: %100
Emotion: %50
Overall: 350 out of 500
this was a wonderful poem but the small mistakes like "I'm" and "Through" really cost you. Otherwise this was wonderful! The title is confusing considering the poem has NOTHING to do with spaghetti! Anyway, I hope to read more from you!
~PonyzandPokez

Hello, and happy review day!

So, I didn't know the definition of spaghettification before I started reading this, but I think that your poem conveys the definition all right.

As others have already pointed out, you have a lot of spelling and grammar errors. This makes the poem look very unprofessional, so you should really change them.

I think that this would be better if you split it up into lines, like a poem. I get that it's supposed to be a chaotic expression of thoughts running through someone's mind, but it's rather difficult to read that way. If you broke it up into lines, we readers would have a chance to breathe.

I like your imagination of what spaghettification would feel like. Obviously, nobody on this website has any idea, but I think this is as realistic as it'll get. You can feel the panic in the words. Overall, this is a good poem, minus grammar errors and the run-on sentence-ness of it. Good job, and keep writing!

Hi! I'm Alice and I'm here to review!

Okay so I'm going to copy and paste your poem below and highlight in red some spelling and little errors okay?

"Floating #FF0000 ">through timeless space ...#FF0000 ">admiring the beautiful glowing stars ...#FF0000 ">I'm getting faster and faster ... I try scream in #FF0000 ">agony but not a sound #FF0000 ">escapes ... no one heard my painful #FF0000 ">cries will anyone know #FF0000 ">I'm gone ..."

There were just some spelling errors and a few apostrophes needed in the "I'm"s

I do believe you should also split this up, into multiple sentences and add some punctuation. It is sort of confusing because everything is jumbled together and it doesn't really make sense.

Maybe if you add the definition of spaghettification to the beginning of your piece, so people aren't confused.

I hope I have helped!
~Alice

Is it ironic that we just talked about this today in school?

Hi. I've edited the all caps out of your title because we discourage it here on YWS. Everything else was left alone.

Anyways, onto the review. I'm not entirely sure what I just read here. Here's why:

1. I have a headache.

2. This is literally one huge run on sentence. You need to break this up. Add in commas, periods, semicolons, dashes, anything and everything that will give this the proper punctuation it needs.

3. Consider explaining your title. I assume it has to do with spaghetti? If so, then how? Because I see no mention of spaghetti anywhere in this.

4. Slow down. I cannot keep up with this. It makes no sense because it's jumping from action to action without any transitions and I have no idea what to think of this. I don't even know what's going on. Why is he floating "threw" time? What's the point, or the overall meaning?

5. Finally, fix any grammar typos. Like I said in #5 , threw should be through. There's some contractive words that should have an apostrophe; i.e im, cant. Some words just done make sense or are the correct forming of another word.

Overall, this needs a lot of work. I suggest you start editing all that I have stated above, and add in more things, like dialogue or an introduction to the narrator or an explanation of what's going on, so the reader isn't confused and frustrated by the end of this.

Hope this helps.

~Iggy