Young Writers Society

Thanks for sharing this poem concerning the personification of death. You do a good job of conveying a very threatening entity. The description is certainly appropriate in view of all the suffering that death inflicts on mankind via depriving them of loved ones and leaving them with grief and only fading memories. In Greek mythology there was a boatman that ferried the dead into hades across the River Styx. I wonder whether the Grim Reaper idea is derived from it.

But the grim reaper you describe has a soft side towards cocoa.
Well, to me that doesn't diminish his other aspects one bit.
It's like telling me that Vlad the impaler liked to eat chocolate cake or that Jack the Ripper enjoyed eating chocolate ice cream.

Suggestion

A shroud-attired skeleton

A smile that would terrify:

Dracula? The creature from the black Lagoon? Frankenstein's Monster?

Being specific would be stronger.

I would delete "ïn a head"

All in all a very enjoyable and entertaining poem as are all that you write. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Grim Reaper
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_(personification)

GRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FLUMA HAS DONE THIS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU PROBABLY APPRECIATE WHAT SHE DID BECAUSE THIS DESCRIBES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IF YOU DON'T APPRECIATE HER, YOUR CREATOOOOORRRRRRRRRR, I WON'T GIVE YOU A LIFE TIME SUPPLY OF COCOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But hello sis! I'm here for a review! It's Friday! So happy weekend time!XD So anyways, I loved this poem for Grim, you described him really well! I don't have a reason to go nit-picking through this because you don't have anything to nit-pick through!XD It's perfect!

"A smile that would terrify, The biggest names in horror. Eyes like the pits of Hell, And as bright as the sun of Heaven." This was my favorite line, I can't really explain why, because I honestly don't know why!XD But I loved this nonetheless! So great job! Keeeeep writing! I will always wait for more! Keep up the most fantastical, most bestest, most stunning, most marvelous, most amazing work!

~ Lake (Your favorite sister!XD)

Legacy here for a review.

I love your formatting for your poem. The last line you have is such a plot twist; I did not expect it at all. I don't understand why cocoa would change the behaviour of a supposedly evil creature but it does add a human characteristic to it.

Your imagery in this poem was executed perfectly. I could really imagine this character that you were describing. I don't understand how a character could have a chuckle like ice though.

Overall, your descriptions were created well, but some of them don't personally make sense to me. (It might just be me, but wait and see if others also have a hard time understanding).

That's all you have, Legacy out.

Hiya! Space here for a review!

The mix of humor and dark imagery was absolutely perfect. I must say, the last line ("Especially if cocoa is involved") was definitely my favorite. I wasn't quite sure about what it was about, but after all the description about "chuckle like ice", "a smile that would terrify", "Eyes like the pits of Hell, And as bright as the sun of Heaven" and the line about cocoa, I'm pretty positive it's about you and/or Grim. XD

*hands Grim some hot cocoa*

I love the concept of Grim, and the poem was great. It made me laugh and it was nicely described as well. I really have no suggestions or anything, except for one.
The line "The biggest names in horror." didn't really make sense to me. Maybe word it differently, or describe what it means some other way.

Overall, I definitely enjoyed it.

Great job!

-Space the Snickerdoodle

Hi! Danni here for a review!
First off, I know who this is. The last line gave it away. Don’t want to spoil it for any people who don’t know, but I will say Valentine’s Day theme.
Secondly, I couldn’t find anything to nitpick about. No grammar or spelling mistakes, no plot holes, nothing. Props to you!
I like the way your description is scary and horrifying at the start but the last line is funny.
Overall, this was a great poem and I loved the way it applied to... er.... someone you know. Keep up the good work, and thanks for the tag!

Danni x

I LOVE IT
ANd the last line is awesome XD

I LOVE IT
ANd the last line is awesome XD

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