"Gerald? Fetch me these books, won't you?"
Gerald sighed. He'd been doing this job far too long, and the years were finally beginning to take it's toll. Not on his body, but certainly his weary mind. His unaging bones never creaked, but perhaps he wished they did. If anything, it would give a reason for the lifelessness he had begun to feel. His dark hair never turned gray, nor did wrinkles crack his alabaster skin, but the lively young man Miss Olivia had once grown so fond of had since vanished with time. Now he was nothing but the mentally old man who worked for the bizarre young girl that resided in the library.
"Yes Madam," he sighed, taking the note from his young mistresses hand, "shall that be all?"
"For now. Thank you Gerald," the young girl said absentmindedly. Her vacant white eyes were locked on something they could not see, and in her right hand was a fluffy purple quill, which scratched out beautiful written words on a creamy white sheet of paper. One might believe she truly could see exactly what she was doing had they not seen her writing.
The butler had memorized the locations of the books Miss Olivia had asked for over the years. While he'd never read them himself, nor had he ever wondered what they might be about, he did know she spent hours a day curled up in her chair. How she did it, he failed to understand.
As he pulled the last book from its shelf, out of sheer curiosity, began to examine it. It was Miss Olivia's favorite, a swashbuckling tale of a beautiful young pirate queen who's name he could simply not remember. Her picture was hand painted on the cover, almost as if it was the only copy ever made, and he'd often catch the young girl running her fingers over the cover hoping to catch the details of her heroine. Perhaps it was more disheartening. Gerald never knew if Olivia would ever be able to see the girl, understand her dark hair and caramel skin, or the messy, straight cut bangs likely often covered the girls eyes. There was something about her that had always personally irked Gerald, though he'd never tell this to the young mistress.
"Gerald? Have you found them?"
"Coming Madam!" he called, placing the book onto the old wooden cart with the others.
He carefully pushed the cart back up the ramp to Miss Olivia's loft. When he reached the top, he could see Olivia was no longer sitting properly, but had her legs thrown over the side of the chair, her head resting in the opposite arm.
"Gerald, we're fading, aren't we?" the young mistress asked. She started to turn to face her butler, but instead went straight back to her paper. Looking at him through useless eyes would do no good.
"I'm not sure what you mean, Madam."
Miss Olivia shook her head. "Neither do I, I'm sorry, I'm being foolish, never mind it. You have all my books?"
"I do."
"Might I have them?"
"Yes Madam."
Gerald handed her her favorite first, and went down the list from there on. For each one, she picked it up and read the title out loud as if she could see it. Over the years she'd likely memorized the size and weight to tell one from the other. This was the only conclusion Gerald could make any sense of.
"Open Waters, where the pirate resides, you know I adore this one! The Forgotten Fairytale, where one might find a princess, no? Oh, yes, Sunshine in the Rain. Perhaps a bizarre name for a cowgirl's home, yes? Desert Wish, such a lovely story and such a wonder Genie. New Orleans Stars, if only we could here that beautiful voice. Ashes in the Snow, where the broken become strong. Oh Gerald, isn't each of these a beautiful world of its own?" she cheered happily.
"Miss Olivia, why are those your favorites?" Gerald found himself asking. He'd often wondered before, but never had he had the nerve to ask out loud.
Olivia smiled and turn to her books. "A pirate, a princess, a cow girl, a genie, a wanderer, and a dreamer. What interesting friends they'd make, no?" She giggled and turned back to her butler. "Well I must finish my plan, you may take your leave for the evening if you wish."
"Yes madam, but if I may ask, what are you doing?"
"I'm making arrangements," she admitted, perhaps a little too brightly as she began to flip through the books.
"With whom?" The suspicious butler asked.
"A certain page hopper I'm really rather fond of. Goodnight Gerald!"
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I certainly enjoyed it, the only problem I noticed with the actual typing was a little spelling error -
here that beautiful voice. - Hear
Other than that, wonderfully done. I liked that they both seemed rather world weary, it gave them depth in my opinion. it leaves room to explain WHY they are so weary. And i'm guessing she's blind, thus the 'vacant' eyes, correct me if i'm wrong. The end made me want to continue, I was completely caught. Some books do that to me...
I picture them in a manor in the English countryside, I'm probably way off. they seem rather aristocratic, refined. I understand the proper speech between butler and madam.
All in all, I enjoyed the read. it needs a little polishing, like every gem, but it has great potential.
Howdy!! wowzers I like this story, I do have some minor opinions but aside from that I sincerely like your writing style. The first paragraph is beautifully written and your vocabulary is great and not overly pressed on using fancy words too much, its simple and well done. Your style makes your work easy to read and flows nicely.
The minor suggestions are things like certain words in dialogue, the interactions and some parts that I think "That doesnt really need to be there. I get the idea"
Firstly, what jerked me was "Shall that be all?" - it felt kinda fake, I think "will that be all" wouldve fit a little nice. "shall" comes off TOO formal.
Some of the descriptive language left me a little lost
"the young girl said absentmindedly. Her vacant white eyes were locked on something they could not see, and in her right hand was a fluffy purple quill, which scratched out beautiful written words on a creamy white sheet of paper. One might believe she truly could see exactly what she was doing had they not seen her writing."
Im not saying this is bad, or you should take it out. But I would like to know WHY she is vacant. where is she in her head? I want to know more about this character.
Also, there are some parts of this story that just feel empty or too "told and not felt" or something. The images you are trying to create are amazing, truly and I dont want to take that away from you, as above, I want to hear it from the characters, i want to feel what they feel and see what they see.
Lastly, the dialogue seems a little empty. they talk but are they actually SAYING anything? Its just banter and general chit chat.
With that being said, this isnt your whole work and I know myself that it doesnt always come together on one page, it takes chapters to really show the big picture. You know your story better than I do and you gotta write what you wanna write.
This is a really great story and lots of good imagery, the emotions and depth is lacking in some points and things need a little tightening, but that first paragraph really excited me and you have an amazing start! well done and good luck