Kind notes from a lover in a beautiful jar filled with crisp strands of mahogany confetti, adorned with a magnificent red ribbon.
Harsh reminders of what I destroyed from an ex-lover in a glass urn, where cheap red paper pervades the space where my purpose used to sit, all tied off with a blood red nylon band.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
So little stanzas, So much to say. I admire your imagery and really FELT all of the connections. That probably doesn't make sense, but in my eyes, this was a velvety kind of style. It brought me to harmful, or as you said, harsh images. Everything was there, and then suddenly it began to crumble. Your lover was someone who meant a lot to you, I kind of got from the first stanza that they were someone who you deeply admired, or deeply admired you in the begginig. But then it skipped to the end where everything slipped and cracked just after it had started. Losing this person made you question yourself a bit, and in the beginning, where everything was soft and simple, had turned into more intense words. From "magnificent red ribbon" to "blood red nylon band." This poem is really good, nothing I can ever manage because I'm an awful poet, but I think this is amazing!
Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If I offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)
I'm not crying, you're crying! This is really good! Not sure what else to say, but that I can't wait for your next post!
From what I can see you don't have any grammar and/or comma mistakes. Can't wait for what's to come! Have a good day, and keep up the writing!