A Divine Love

by FireandIce326

Published July 19, 2010

To the one who knows the heart of mine,
Knows to live in peace and love divine.
For in thine eyes you are more than treasure.
My love for you is too much to measure.

Within your eyes it seems so clear,
The way you love is so sincere.
You're like an angel but no surprise,
You are so beautiful in my eyes.

Comments & reviews · 5
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EdgarAllanPoe
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EdgarAllanPoe commented Comment · Jul 26, 2010

I liked it! I like all of your poetry, actually to tell you the truth. KEEP IT UP! I'm going to follow you!

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Fatimah
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Fatimah wrote a review Review · Jul 26, 2010

Hi there,
To the one who knows the heart of mine,
Knows to live in peace and love divine.
For in thine eyes you are more then treasure. - I think you meant to say 'than'
My love for you is too much to measure. - This stanza is very sweet and passionate!

Within your eyes it seems so clear,
That the way you love is so sincere. - I think it may sound better if you wrote ' The way you love is so sincere ' It sounds more well-rounded.
You're like an angel but no surprise,
You are so beautiful in my eyes.

I enjoyed this poem it's concise and passionate still.
Keep up the good work! :)

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GagaBowie
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GagaBowie commented Comment · Jul 19, 2010

Your poem is so beautiful, i really enjoyed it.

AngerManagement wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2010

Hey Fire and Ice.

To the one who knows the I feel like the 'the' is a bit awkward. Perhaps this would be a better alternative. heart of mine,
Knows to live in peace and love divine.
For in thine eyes you are more then than treasure. Would this mean that the person he/she is talking about is a bit shallow? As i think thine means 'your' as its synonym is thy or is this simply a mistake?
My love for you is too much to measure. Its very cute. And goes with the rhyming scheme. My favorite line in the poem :D
Within your eyes it seems so clear, I don't understand why there is all this talk about eyes. I'm sure there is some other body part that fully describes Divine Love.
That the way you love is so sincere.
You're like an angel but no surprise,
You are so beautiful in my eyes.The eyes thing again.


I feel like I have read this poem before simply because it's got this spiel about love which is understandable. I just don't think you brought a part of you into the big ocean of love poems. I feel like this poem could be expanded upon. I liked the rhyming scheme and its cutesy nature. I also liked the way it was short and sweet.

Keep Writing.

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ladymask
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ladymask wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2010

Nice work on a form of poetry that's fairly unused nowadays :)

Just one or two things. I like the rhyme scale here, but have you considered switching it up a bit? It's AABB style, and that style can get a little stale-feeling sometimes. It's up to you of course, but I'd suggest maybe trying another draft with ABAB, or even AABA, and seeing which you prefer.

Also, the first "to" in the fourth line of stanza one should be a "too" :D

Nice work!



The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts.
— Bryant McGill