Forever Waiting

It's cute! Was I not around and this was about me?? Lol

I think the idea of this poem is really good and it has good potential but I think you could add a little more.

Alongside me, Beside me

Good things happen to those who wait

Simple..........and unusual. That sums up your poem ( At least, that's what I think). So.......It's a good attempt. It could be better, though. For one,you've given the poem a repetitive sense, by using the words "side" and "wait" and "I" over and over. You could edit them, if you like.
Second, the poem does have a lyrical sense, but it can't really be classified as a proper poem,as it is just a plea, you know? I mean, when you read the poem, it sounds like the person in waiting is pleading for the other to come. So.....that's what I mean.

Keep it up!

Mysticalxx

So, when I read this poem for the first time I had one thing ringing in my ear, 'Romeo and Juliet". Now I obviously want to talk to you about Shakespear's tragic love story and how this brilliant poem connects to it. I won't spend to much time on it tough because I rather focus on your work rather than Shakespear.

So, I feel like the person talking in this poem is Juliet. She's waiting for Romeo to come as be by her side, but he is banished from seeing her or the whole town. She still faithfully waits for him, until coming up with a plan so that they could be together. Obviously, this plan ends up killing both Romeo and Juliet by tiger own choice. It's super sad, yet super romantic.

You have created a poem about someon waiting, longing, to see the one they love. The narrator is trying to be patient, but how when the person has been waiting for so long? It really is a remarkably written poem, that really shows the conflict and struggle this person is going through. But it also shows the passion burning inside of the person making this poem even in both action and romance.

You did an amazing job writing this! It was truly a work of art! I love how you put in a quote that almost anyone has heard sometime in thier lifetime. You know, "Good things come to those who wait." I love how this is sucha parallel to your poem and how well it truly connects.

This poem was great and outstanding! You have a tre talet keep on using it!

Keep writing bro.

~#41

Firebird99 I like your poem, especially there's a deep meaning to the poem Well done!

Firebird99 first of all i was amazed by the deep meaning of your poem.

2. one question is directed towards love or friendship

3. I loved the ending "i'll be here waiting." it shows the persons desperation

4. i also liked the fact that it asks more questions than it tells.

5. i am new here so if you feel violated by my review i am sorry.

I really enjoyed this poem. Sometimes it's good to write something serious every once in a while.

I started reading this poem, not even realizing it was yours, FireBird99! Then I realized it sounded familiar. lol This was really good, you made a good decision by posting it.

I really like the meaning of the poem, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to it. I liked the part, "Laughing by my side." Laughter is almost as much needed in a relationship as much as romance; or so I believe.

I think it would make a great song. You should put some chords to go with the words and I know it will rock! <3

Thanks for posting this poem, and I can't wait to see what else you write! Good-luck.

~Rose

HEY

its a beautiful poem I must say. I really liked this poem as I can connect to it really deeply. I have been waiting for my love to get together, I really love him a lot. Just due to some family issues am unable to be with him this poem is motivating me and telling me the truth of life.it is really true that who wait get the best in life like after a long wait I met my love, my everything. I really wish for everyone out their to get their love and be happy forever. I must say that please keep on writing these kinds of poems as it will inspire and encourage others a lot.

I like this... it's a good point, too... (that saying is messed up, whilst patience is certainly a virtue nothing will happen to someone who doesn't go an make it happen). I like the repetition of side and me and the rhyming you have going on. Overall this flows well and was a pleasure to read.

Criticisms:

1. The line 'I've been waiting, watching, and wondering-' sounds out of place to me. Try taking away the and perhaps?

2.Alongside and beside mean the same thing... come up with another adjective perhaps?

Hope that helps! (I would 'tear her up' more but I can't really spot any other mistakes )