I like this, but I hate the repetition. It kills the poem, so I highly suggest you figure out what you are doing with it.
twisting
tangled
up to my neck in curtains
listen: I’m up to my neck
and drowning in threads
I really loved this stanza, so from the start I liked it. The rest didn't do as much for me. This was beautiful, the curtains, the threads, it worked really well.
then there was this, right after. The last line got my goat. Does that have anything to do with the poem?the house quiets, show begins
the house cheers, show ends
I cry alone in a mirror
This has some great lines, but the problem is it is so scattered. I can't tell what you want me to feel or think, it just looks like you're lining up words and phrases and setting them in stone and saying, "There, poem" but poetry doesn't work like that. What message are you trying to get across to your reader? Because I'm feeling nothing...
I think it is a good place to start, but you'll want to work on the central theme, and the rest of the poem. Seriously, though, knock the repetition. It does nothing for the piece. If it meant something more, or symbolized something, or made sense, than I would be fine with it.
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