Go on! Say your goodbyes!
They are filled with promises and lies.
I can feel your wrath,
It takes just one breath.
I don't care what you say,
I mind my own way,
Through the park - so old
With the sky - so cold.
I`m tired of your eyes.
Everytime they watch my cries.
I gave you trust,
But you gave me stardust.
You dragged me through hell on my knees,
I yelled and cried "Please!"
But no...
I beg of you! Just go.
____________
My first poem 
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140,582 Literary Works • 673,538 Reviews
i like it. for a very first poem, this is great. i very much like that it has a rhyme scheme, but at the same time, it's not a solid repetitive rhyme scheme, like shakespeare's iambic pentameter. (not that there is anything wrong with iambic pentameter. in fact i quite enjoy it myself). But yes, very very good first poem.
I love your imagination, word choice, passion, and feeling. You are, truly, a great writer.
If you are looking to edit or just to improve your next poem, try working on your rhythm - it didn't quite fit right, and that's distracting and irritating to a reader.
Great work -- you're amazing!!
-KK
haha ... Rock song you say? *giggle* maybe i`ll put it at the lyric stuffs
Did you know? This doesn't rhyme like a poem. This is more like a rock song.
Good work.
I don't know but the apostrophies doesn't seem to suit this.
I cut the 'just' as it doesn't flow well with verse.
This should be a period not a comma.
This should be 'watch me cry'
The 'stardust' part doesn't suit this.
Maybe put, "Just let go"
I liked your poem, and as I told you I sang it like a rock song. Great work.
Well done.
Cheers, Anzius!
Ahh. So you started poems now
Great. Great work (as always.)
Dramatic. Well written, all in all.
Continue the greát work.
***********************************************************************************************
LORD ANZIUS WUZ HERE
Nice poem. I'm not much of a poetry writer myself, but we had to do a lot of it in school once.
your
I'm pretty sure you mean "feel"
You might want to rephrase this. I might say, "Every time, they watch mine cry"
"on my knees"
Your rythm is a little undefined. try tapping your foot and saying the poem in rythym.
Good first poem. Much better than my first poems.
Keep writing!
-Sea-