I'm not sure if this will work, but this story only works in this format so here goes.
This link will bring you to a Google slide, which is what I used to make this text based adventure game, which I personally count as writing. Make sure to read the directions. the slides will auto advance every 1 minute bc I couldn't figure out how to turn it off.
Average reading time about 7 minutes.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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138,677 Literary Works • 672,212 Reviews
This is very spooky and I like the spooky. The point of view works well for the story. The format really helps the vibe. Maybe could use even more concerning buildup as the story goes along, so the reader just gets more and more concerned over the course of the story, but I am pretty concerned already. The ending is a nice way to finish it off.
Oh wow, what an incredibly cool idea! One note: the phone’s description says “There is no notifications” and should read “There are no notifications”
Thanks for pointing that out, never noticed it
this is so spooky!!! I loved the mystery you incorporated throughout this! However some critisisms: maybe add more to do? Like, if someone clicks on something divulging from the main story, maybe lead them on a wild goose chase or alternate ending other than a slide telling them to go back? I don't really have anything else outside of that. Really good job and I would really love if you made more!!! The format is so creative and inventive and I really haven't seen anything like this on young writers before! Just really lean into the choose your own adventure book aspects more and it will bloom like a beautiful flower! Oh, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about with the choose your own adventure book things, check out a couple at your local library. They'll give you inspiration and tips on how to get better at this format. this is such a tricky format and style to nail and I think you did a wonderful job!
I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the advice!