Published January 8, 2017
Death. A single word that holds so much mystery among mankind. Death; the most unknown thing known to them. Death; the one that all mortals fear most. Death; the passing, the changing of a state from living to not. Death; the Grimm Reaper, scythe slicing down the last stalk of wheat.
Yet they say that energy and matter cannot be created nor destroyed, simply changed. Does the caterpillar die when it becomes a butterfly? Does a larva die when it becomes a beetle? Is it reborn or forever lost? Or, perhaps, it is simply changed. Transformation; metamorphosis; or, in my tongue, myliianyrae.
What if what we call ‘death’ is simply the transformation from a caterpillar into a butterfly? As the body crumbles and the mind is absent it returns to the earth that birthed it, that gave it life. As a phoenix does it arise from the ashes, reborn among flames into another stage?
Nothing is permanent. Everything will change. Language, life, culture, the world, the galaxy, the universe. The stars will supernova and with it will arise a new time. With the fall of Rome was the coming of a new age. When the Dark Ages finally passed came a period of gold. For better or for worse things will change as time passes.
Such is the way of the world. Such is the nature of time. Such is the nature of life and of death, of light and darkness, of new beginnings and of ends, of creation and of destruction.
The requiem of the dead as birds cry the funeral march. Leaves falling to the ground. The tears and comfort and reunion of a funeral. Brisk, cold wind that whistles through bare branches. The monotone voice of a man as he says words about the departed. The moon rising, silver light cutting through the darkness.
A single, white rose, its petals soft and pure as the hymn sung by its bearer. Infinite in its beauty yet its green thorns grow sharp. A new beginning, a remembrance- rebirth.
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140,084 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
Hello, Dino here for a short review!
I feel like this topic is used quite often but you seem to use it in your own way, if that makes sense. Like, the title you have used is kind of deceiving but also shows a bit of symbolism with the white rose because I think of it like life or something of the sort. Also, a little bit of Alice in Wonderland. I also like your beginning because of how you used your definition of death to appeal to what you are writing. However, you seem to use such a topic that it seems kind of repetitive throughout the whole thing. Personally, I enjoyed most of the messages you were trying to show throughout this whole piece, as well.
This little chunk feels a bit repetitive because you seem to be saying the same stuff over and over again. Perhaps just have:
Personally, this seems more of an easier read to understand without having the same thing repeated but in different forms because 'life and death' is kind of similar to 'of creation and of destruction'.
Overall, I did enjoy this little piece. It had a nice meaning towards death and you used good examples that, in a sense, were cliche. However, you used them to show a point about death and I think that's a good way of doing it.
If you have any questions, let me know!
Dino
Beautiful. You had me hooked immediately. Every word in this little piece of literature caused my interest to increase. The ending was simply wonderful. That is all I can say other than keep writing
Thank you!
HEELLO featherstone,
Nice job here. I always thought Death and Transformation were two different things but I guess they are binded together by some unknown force as well.
The first paragraph spoke of death, death everywhere. This snatches the reader's interest, as it did mine. I realize that your posts mirror your roleplaying style. As descriptive as always featherstone. I congratulate you and your perfect use of words.
Nice relation to science too. Even though this passage is marked under fantasy, I suppose it wouldn't hurt if the laws of matter were included into the picture. "matter cannot be created nor destroyed, simply changed". True, very true.
I like how you added the classic phoenix rising from the ashes. It's always a symbol of a new beginning after the death of the phoenix before it. A reincarnation, perhaps?
"Nothing is permanent". Can that be considered a life lesson? Life cannot go on forever. "Death is what mortals fear". Mortals. No one is immortal, after all.
Sincerely,
Night kaizer
Thanks, @NightKaizer. Random fact you may or may not know: a white rose is symbolistic of remembrance and new beginnings.
Hey, here with a review. First of all, I really liked this piece, it was graceful, elegant and just simply beautiful. This piece is exactly what I look for in a piece, the repetition was used correctly not too much, not too little. Throughout this whole piece, there was a rhythm that made the poem flow. It really makes us doubt or question. Just a thing I think would make this piece more emotional or relate-able maybe mention something about how most people are scared and maybe something about a "bucket list". You don't have to add this but I just thought it would help. Other than that, I really liked this piece. Keep writing!
~Rosy234
Thanks, Rosy! I'll look at the piece and consider your suggestion. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review!
You're welcome and it's no problem.
i really really love this, i don't know how to critique this or anything so i just want to say i really loved this, it's beautiful
Thanks, Maise!
This was really nice to read. It brought lots of questions to a table and an overall different outlook on life. You have a great writing style that just flows and isn't too difficult to read, yet isn't prose.
This is petty and you don't even have to do this, but if I were to edit it, in the first paragraph where you've put "death, ____', I'd put a semicolon rather than a colon.
Also, what is myliianyrae? Did you make it up? I tried googling it but nothing comes up. What is the significance of this word, does it mean something to you? This part was a bit random to me.
Overall there's very little to critique, you've done an awesome job at this. The only thing I can think of is perhaps make it a bit more subjective???
-- Tiana
*a semicolon rather than a comma, not colon XD
XD Yeah I know what you meant. Myliianyrae is a reference you will only get if you read Shadowsong. Just a little thing I threw in bc why not?
I like this. Especially the part when you reference the caterpillar to the butterfly. The question, death or transformation? Beautiful.
Thank you, Aleta. I'm glad you enjoyed it!