Published December 22, 2009
Removed at author's request.
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Hey there! Okay so this is a little short for a poem, true. Maybe you're new to poetry? Well let's see if we can turn this into something that other people will want to read and remember. We'll start with the plot.
Plot. Yes I know. It's a poem right, not a novel so why do you need a plot? Everything has a dtoryline. Lyrics have a story and characters, plays have a story and characters and so should poetry. Let's look at your persona first. That means the character that is speaking. Decide if they're male or female, young or old and then what has broken their heart? You need to know this before you can talk about it. Has their husband gone off with another woman, another man? Have they fallen in love with someone who's above their reach or i it a different sort of love? Have they lost a sibling or parent?
Alright so you've started to piece together your character and their story. Now you need to decide what genre of poetry this is going to be. We'll keep it simple for now, two types are Narrative and Dramatic. Narrative poetry is where a general story is told, in this case your poem will show the reader that your character is heart broken and show the reader what has led to that and maybe hint at an ending: the persona moves on or maybe the persona kills herself. Or you could write a Dramatic poem. In this form of poetry there is a strong first person speaker and they convey a point to the audience. Maybe it will be the speaker telling the reader how awful it is to have a broken heart and that they're better off never looking for love in the first place.
Ready to go? Okay try again then and aim for at least three verses of four or five lines each. If you take another shot at this and get further, feel free to send me a pm and I can help you refine your poem,
Heather xx
I will not call this a poem, there is nothing in it that qualifies it. Alone its just a short note, on the other hand because of its resemblance to your other poem and for the fact that its short you can actually rephrase and add it to the other
Once again, make sure you capitalize the beginning of each line. I also noticed that this poem is somewhat similar to your other poem, Fake Everything. Another thing is that on this site we have a rule that you have to review other writing with a ratio of 2:1 for every one you post. Make sure you do that!