Young Writers Society

Hey there! It's thecolorofthesky here to review your poem. To start, I appreciate the concept of this poem, but it seems like the ideas need to be synthesized. There are really powerful lines, but they are scattered throughout the work. With that, let's look at each stanza!
Stanza I: A period or semicolon after the first line would add emphasis to the second line.

I'm wordlessly screaming

is a bit redundant. Screaming implies no words unless specified. You could scream something, like a phrase that could carry on throughout the poem, or you could leave it with screaming. I would also omit

But please, [quote/] It detracts from the serious message of the poem.
Stanza II:

Pushing in on me

This could have a much stronger impact if you used a word with the connotation like "implode".

To collapse and be filled,

This creates a paradox. The empty space can't feasible collapse. It seems odd.
Stanza III:

(If I think about it too much,

Just the statement of how you feel about the absence of sound is more prominent than this quote placed before it.
Stanza IV: There are quite a few conventional errors in this stanza. Decide what you are doing with the line breaks in this section and try to avoid fragments such as

Convince myself it's not truly empty space

The last few lines are strong, but I feel like something is lacking. I can't put my finger on it though.
Stanza V: Again! Punctuation is key in this stanza. I can understand that no punctuation creates a certain flow or urgency, repetition, etc, but this particular section needs punctuation.
Stanza VI: The listing in the first line might be a little much, but the mic drop lines at the end are lovely.
Wonderful job! Let me know if you revise. Write on!

Hello! Let's get reviewing!

I mentally break down the air

Into molecules I can manage

Convince myself it's not truly empty space

Not like the void

Within myself-

Nothing can live there anymore.

The "mentally" here sounds out of place. Still, I like the imagery it brings.

It's like someone pulled the plug

On the soundtrack to my life

I don't think "soundtrack" is the word you were looking for. You would pull the plug on a CD player used to play the soundtrack, but not the soundtrack itself.

I like the mention of static as a welcome distraction, maybe even a good thing, at the end. It really helps to tie up the feelings of the poem.

That's all I've got for now. Keep writing!
-Grace