The Chronicles of Flaughston Book 1: A Reign to End

Chapter 6: The Journey Begins

When they finally set out on their journey, the day was late. Kamos had explained that the Unknown Gate had not opened in a thousand years and the last time it had, the unspeakable things that came out of it had left a large area of scorched earth where the Kingdom was now. When they finally made camp for the night, they had gotten to the bridge over the Little Aistar River, just past the Imps’ Base. The bridge arches were made of stone, with wooden planks spanning the gap between the sides. Intricate carvings of imps, fish, and elves covered the arches. This must have taken extreme care. It’s wonderful craftsmanship! Jonny thought to himself.

“We made it farther than I would have expected,” Kamos said, as they set up their small tent and laid out their bedrolls. “If I remember right, we’re on the Geneavea Road.” “Geneavea Road?” Jonny asked. “The Geneavea Road,” Kamos explained, “used to connect all of the nations of Geneavea. However, all of it that is past the imps’ base was destroyed by the Evil Shaman.” This Evil Shaman is serious about this! Why would he worry about such a small, undefended kingdom? Jonny found himself wondering. “Now, you can barely distinguish where the road was from the forest floor,” Kamos finished.

Kamos and Jonny then sparred and practiced magic to keep up their strength and skill. After eating a small dinner of beans and dried meat, they put out their campfire and got into bed. It was then Jonny realized he hadn’t said anything about his encounter with the elves. When he had finished relating the story to Kamos, the shaman’s face took a shape of surprise. “Elves haven’t been seen around here for nearly three centuries, ever since they drew back into their homeland of Meanor. In fact, no one has seen any since, until now.” Kamos paused to draw a breath. “Interesting. Very interesting.” Kamos’s words stayed in Jonny’s mind and he fell asleep, his dreams filled with elves, heratics, and the Dark Shaman.

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They quickly established a routine. In the morning, they would get up, eat a light breakfast, water and saddle the horses, load all of their equipment and supplies, and set off. During the day, they would stop occasionally stop to eat, feed and water the horses, and rest. In the evening, they would make camp, corral the horses, eat supper, practice fighting (sparring and magic), and sleep for the night. After two days of travel, they reached a 4-way in the road. “We go left,” Kamos said, “if I remember right.” He pulled out a large map. “Yes, left,” he reassured himself after studying it for a few moments. After turning left, they continued for a week before reaching the edge of the Heratic Lands.

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A day’s travel over the border, Kamos and Jonny came across the capital city of Halle. It was a striking sight. The outer walls were made of polished marble with a large tower about every hundred feet. On the inside were many different sized buildings made of granite, slate, and limestone, but none was as tall as the giant marble citadel in the center. Its turrets jutted up into the sky like huge teeth and its structure was magnificent. The only things taller than the citadel were the mountains in the background, ringed purple in the dawns light, their snow covered peaks rose above the clouds. As they got closer, Jonny noticed that the gates of the city were gold plated bronze with silver embroidery. It was an awesome show of wealth and power.

The heratic guards at the gates were rough looking and battle scarred. When they noticed Kamos and Jonny approaching, they immediately stood at attention. The commanding officer, who seemed to be a captain, stepped up to Kamos. “What is your business here?” he asked in a gruff voice. “We have come to ask the king for more guards,” Kamos replied, “after our original ones were slain by shades.” With that, the guards let them pass. The gates swung open and Jonny and Kamos walked into the city.

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All around them were stone buildings of all sizes, from huts about four feet tall to large buildings about eight stories tall. However the size or grandsire of the other buildings, nothing compared to the giant marble citadel, its turrets reaching over five hundred feet into the sky. The second tallest building in the city, the royal palace fringed the skyline with plates of gold, silver, and bronze with marble and limestone underneath. “That is where we are headed,” said Kamos, pointing to the palace. “The king is a good friend of mine.” As they came up to the palace gates, an ancient looking heratic greeted them. “Kamos! Is that you?! I haven’t seen you in ages!” he said in excitement. “And who is this with you?” “This is Jonny Celtric,” Kamos replied. “He is going to defeat the Dark Shaman.”

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Fan wrote a review · Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:39 pm

Nice chapter, but I found that I couldn't follow the dialogue as it was stuctured strangely. It would be a new line for each time a different character speaks. The dialogue itself also seems rather awkward or uneccessary at points, mainly:

“We go left,” Kamos said, “if I remember right.” He pulled out a large map. “Yes, left,” he reassured himself after studying it for a few moments. After turning left, they continued for a week before reaching the edge of the Heratic Lands.


The bit where Kamos speaks is uneccessary and makes the flow of the paragraph awkward. Well, that's my buggest complaint.

If you fix this it'll be a better chapter as the story goes on...



A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
— Honore de Balzac