I just hope you are a woman otherwise i might drown in my utter shock of all the sexism in this poem-
anyways..
okay, i take back what i said- this poem is not sexist. I just read the title and thought you were going to rant on on how ignorant and childish women are- sorry.
I like the way you WRITE girls down as if they were terribly cunning and unknown creatures- I appreciate the way you made it sound, but a good description; one or two little lines of imagery- maybe even comparison- and this would be downright awesome. I still think this poem lack any comparison of females with.. umm.. you might find something..
that part where you say (getting to know her would be quite the challenge/ Has anyone completed that challenge i wonder?) first, remove the (the) from the first line, and put a (a) instead. ((getting to know to her would be quite A challenge)) and maybe also remove the second (challenge) word in your second line. repetition is meant to insist on a peculiar point/word. but in this case, your repetition is kinda useless. I'd suggest a synonym, but hey; it still is your poem
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Reviews: 109
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