The Edge of the World ~ Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“See, there’s the big dipper, and there’s the little dipper.”

“Are those the only two constellations you know?”

“Yes.”

I turned onto my side and looked at Will, his face incandescent from the starlight. We were lying on my porch, staring up at the night sky. It was relatively warm, for winter, but we still had to wear our heavy jackets, making us both look like big multicolored marshmallows. I smiled at him, then looked back at the violet expanse above us.

“That’s cancer. The crab? And that’s Orion’s belt. And see that circle of five stars? That’s where the universe first started; right in the smallest space in the center of that circle.”

“How do you know all this?” Will asked me, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, there’s this little thing called reading, and it lets you learn things,” I replied sarcastically.

“That makes a lot of sense.”

“But doesn’t it scare you? Not knowing?”

“What do you mean?”

“We have no clue what’s out there. We don’t know where we go after we die, or where we were before we were born. The universe is so big. It’s conceited to think that we’re the only ones. But everything’s so far away, too far apart. We can never know for sure.

“So we have to completely disregard all our beliefs. What are beliefs in the grand scheme of things? Because we’ll never know. We’ll never really know for sure. If you think of our knowledge, everything we’ve ever learned from the instant we were born, and compare it to everything we have the potential of knowing… It’s nothing. And that scares me. How can you understand things if you don’t know? We don’t know where we came from. We don’t know where we’re going.”

Will looked at me for a long moment as he took in my words. I could almost see the gears shifting in his head. Finally, he smiled slightly and said, “Most people don’t bother thinking about these things. And there’s no point, Cal. Live in the moment, because that’s all we can do. Here and now is all we really know.”

I nodded, my eyes drifting back up to the sky. “It’s so beautiful,” I whispered in awe. “All those stars, all those planets, and any one of them could be harboring life. Just think about it, Will. What if there are whole worlds out there that we don’t know about? What if we find them? Can’t you just imagine?”

“I don’t think I’d be as willing to roll out the welcome mat as you seem to be,” he said.

“Why not?”

“Like you said, we don’t know what kind of beings are out there. When you’re in the wild, is it so wise to make yourself known?”

“I see what you’re saying, Will. But don’t you think that some risks are worth taking?”

He chuckled softly. “I can just imagine you in a lion’s den. You wouldn’t last one second; sticking your head in the thing’s mouth. You’re so curious about everything, Cal, but sometimes, you’re better off not knowing.”

“I’d rather die than have to live with the possibilities.”

“You say that now.”

I shifted my eyes towards him while still keeping my face tilted up. “There has to be something you’d die to be able to know.”

He scrutinized me, his face thoughtful, almost sad. “There are some things,” his voice was barely a whisper, so quiet that perhaps I imagined hearing it.

My eyelids slid closed, almost of their own accord. I felt Will’s hand slip into mine, warming it. The contact felt simple and familiar, as natural as breathing.

So natural, we could have been doing this our whole lives.

“Are you tired?” Will asked me, his voice like silk, wrapping around the words in an embrace.

I felt my shoulders rise in an involuntary shrug. “Nonsense! I’m fine.”

I heard him laugh and cracked one eye open to look at him. “What?”

“We’ve been out here for at least an hour. You’re obviously cold and tired. Don’t be a masochist. Let’s just go inside.”

I nodded and we rose to our feet, groaning as our stiff muscles protested against the action. A yawn escaped my lips as I stretched my arms overhead, and I caught a glimpse of Will’s smug smile. But I had to admit, I was getting drowsy.

We stepped through the back door into my house, blinking as our eyes adjusted to the light. I sighed as warmth crept into my bones, allowing me to shed off my jacket. Will did the same, yanking at his zipper and slipping the heavy coat off of his shoulders. I cranked up the thermostat, the corners of my lips turning up as more heat surged into my limbs. I took off my wet gloves and removed my shoes before I could track any more snow inside. The warmth only made me sleepier, and it was a struggle to keep my eyes open as I wiped away the small puddles left behind when we’d walked in.

Will boiled some water for tea while I unleashed another yawn. He grinned at me and winked, as if enjoying some inside joke. I brushed past him in my search for those last few bags of chamomile tea, and the contact raised goose bumps on my skin. An awkward giggle tore itself from my throat, and my hand quickly flew up to cover my mouth.

Will gave me a puzzled look, brow furrowed and mouth open in the beginnings of a question. Then realization spread across his face, and when his green eyes caught mine, they were tender and understanding.

“This is something new for the both of us,” he mused.

Though it wasn’t a question, my head bobbed up and down in agreement. He ruffled my hair, his hand lingering on my one rounded ear for a few seconds before it fell back to his side. My skin tingled where he touched me. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy.

Just then, the door creaked open, and Iris waltzed in, singing, “There she was just a-walkin’ down the street, singin’ doo-wah diddy-diddy dum diddy-doo. Snappin’ her fingers and shufflin’ her feet, singin’ doo-wah diddy-diddy dum diddy-doo.”

I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing, completely ruining the mood.

“Hi, Cal!” Iris yelled. “Hi, William!” She gave us a sweeping wave, tapping her feet as she continued to sing Doo Wah Diddy. Soon enough, I joined in.

“Before I knew it she was walkin’ next to me, singin’ doo-wah diddy-diddy dum diddy-doo. Holdin’ my hand just as natural as can be singin’ doo-wah diddy-diddy dum diddy-doo.”

William chimed in with a sonorous, “Now we’re together nearly every single day singin’ doo-wah diddy-diddy dum diddy-doo. We’re so happy and that how we’re gonna stay, singin doo-wah diddy-diddy dum diddy-doo.”

The three of us could have made a crow sound like the Hallelujah Chorus, but we didn’t care. We finished the song together.

I turned to Iris and asked, “What’re you doing here?”

Her small face scrunched up in disdain, and she handed me a stack of papers. “They gave us your mail again. Can’t count house numbers much?”

I rolled my eyes at her and accepted the mail. “Thanks for bringing it over.”

“No problem,” she chirped before skipping out the door.

I shook my head and smiled. “She’s so perky.”

“That she is,” Will said. “I should get going too. It’s late.” He gave me a quick hug before leaving.

I rifled through the mail, briefly scanning over each piece. Bill, magazine, junk mail, flier. When I came to the postcard, I froze. It depicted a scenic view of snowcapped mountains, the sun setting behind them lazily. Wish you were here was scrawled across the photo in bright yellow font.

If you really wished I was there, you would have taken me with you, I thought as I tore the postcard into tiny pieces.