How Many People

Hey, themightierpen here to review this brilliant poem.

You immediately formed an intimate connection with the reader, on an emotional level, by bringing up loss. Loss is one of the most deeply experienced human emotions, and by tapping into that you get the reader's attention instantly.

I loved this poem overall and i think that the length fits it perfectly, so well done.



The only thing that makes me hesitate with this work is the way you broke up stanzas two and four with the punctuation. It felt like Those commas were unneeded and the question marks were before the question ended. It seemed like the work would flow better if it was formatted like this:

"How many people
does it take
to make you see yourself?"

In both stanzas two and four it seemed like that would help it flow more.



All in all, I found the work beautiful and well written, so kudos to you for your amazing word craft.

Good luck, and keep writing!!!

I really liked this poem. The use of repetition is a great technique in poems, and really enforces the importance of your message: do we really know ourselves, or anybody? Do we really know how they feel or what makes them happy or what their past is? Very good!
~WannabeWriter112

Hello, Evzzer, jackdouglassreeves here, and I just needed to express your brilliant use of repetition above all other things in this work. Out of all of the pros from this poem, the repetition takes the cake by far! My personal take away theme from this work is how in the world today, we as people don't really take the time to get to know others, let alone ourselves. We find ourselves to easily lying on the surface in relationships that we can't even move slightly further into getting to truly find beauty in ourselves and others. Sweet and simple work, very very well done!

Hello Remington38 here!
The repetition is very effective in this lyrical narrative. Overall this was written very well and the emotions fill the poem. We question many things and I feel this is very relatable to a lot of audiences. The only thing is I would like to see more. Welcome to YWS. From looking at this I can see you are very talented and I look forward to reading more of what you publish.

Hey Evzzer, TS here reviewing
Your piece was really nice but I'd love to see more. You've brought to life the fact that this person is fragile, that they're... not exactly insecure, more like they're trying to hide from themselves? Like maybe they're afraid. I think that it's deep, obviously, but you could give it a lot more.
Making a connection like this between your audience and a character is a bold move in that you drag people in; you make them care a bit more. But what comes with that attraction is a need for you - as the writer - to feed us more. This person isn't just yours anymore, they're ours. You don't need to give everything, but I'd like a glimpse at why they feel that way, or maybe some hint as to what they really feel inside. You're talking from another person's view. Maybe switch it up a bit so we know how they actually feel about themselves.
I really want to see more of this one, hoping it's not finished yet
I think it was good how you jumped right in with the kind of 'aggressive help' attack, like you're hitting them with the plain truth about how they're... maybe avoiding themselves? I could be totally wrong but sure hopefully it's helpful anyway! A lot of people would build up to it. I would too, probably. Like I'd put in a subtle sarcasm for the beginning, congratulate them on all their friends and on how happy they always seem, stuff like that. Actually act like you believe they're facade, then jump straight into what you have here. I think maybe it could have more impact that way. Still, this is a really good base to build upon, I think with a few adjustments it could be really cool.

Hope my advice helps
Yours in ink, TS.