"We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it. Life was never worse, but never better." - Wonderland, Taylor Swift.
We've all heard the tale of Alice in Wonderland... But we never knew that was where we belonged.
I am Hadley, and that is all. No last name, nothing but Hadley. I was quiet. And I wasn't easily noticed. That was the way I liked it. I'm the girl that always has her name in a book. So while I walked down the hall that day, buried in my latest tale, I ran into my next subject. Sherlock Donovan. He wasn't the normal kind of person I liked to choose. He was popular, he was cocky, he was just plain dull. But with my help, he would change.
"Watch it, sweetie." He sneered at me. I picked up my books and stared at him. And suddenly, his eyes softened and linked onto mine. My eyes were a light lavender, very unique in this school. Unique, as in I was the only one.
"Sorry, Sherlock." I smiled, throwing in a special glint in my eyes. I walked away, straightening the black fedora resting on my head. My platinum blonde hair popped with it on, and the ice blue streak in it made the whole look. My jeans were black, ripped at the knees and thighs. My shirt was a flowing grey thin hoodie. I walked into math, but as usual, didn't pay attention. I doodled butterflies and flowers on my worksheet until the bell rang. Lunch time.
I made my way to the commons area and sat at a table I had claimed as mine. No one ever sat with me, and that's the way I wanted it. I looked at the clock and waited three minutes. Then there he was. Sherlock walked into the commons area with a tray of food. His eyes lit up when he saw me and ran over to my table. I used my foot to pull a chair over towards him, and he pulled it to the table.
"Hey Hadley." He said, "Can I sit with you today?" He purred at me. He grabbed a lock of my long hair and twisted it around his finger. I smiled and nodded. He didn't notice that it was a fake smile.
"Why aren't ya with your basketball friends?" I asked him. He looked really confused for about thirty seconds. I stared intently at him, making sure to keep eye contact. His brown hair had a slight curl to it, and he was tall and lean, but muscly. Anyone with a brain would throw themselves at him. And everyone had, until they figured out his personality.
"I... don't really know?" It sounded like a question. I nodded and he relaxed, diving into his food. I pulled a salad out of my bag. He eyed it with contempt, his mouth full of hamburger. I speared a piece of lettuce and chewed it. He was still staring at me with a look that told me he was hooked. I smiled at him and continued eating. About halfway through the meal, he slid his hand over my knee. I smiled for a moment at it before I remembered. I slid away from him, blushing profusely. If I had got caught doing that, I would be done for. I walked to the rest of my classes and finished out the day. I put all my books in my white backpack. A large hand lifted the backpack off the ground and I looked up to find Sherlock. I smiled at him. He was on time. Again.
"Can I have my backpack?" I asked him.
"No. I'm going to take you home." He said. I nodded and followed him, a nasty smile playing on my lips. He was so easy.
"Okay." I said. I followed him out into the California air and walked to his convertible. I jumped over the door and slid into the passenger seat. He climbed in the same way with a laugh. He drove through the busy city and stopped at my apartment, per my directions. He carried my bag into the building and I curled my finger at him with a smirk. He followed me up the stairs to the third floor. I opened the first apartment on the left, and threw my shoes off. Ugh. I hated shoes. He put my backpack on the floor and put himself on my couch.
"Where are your parents?" He asked.
I hesitated for a moment. "Work. I'm usually here alone. Dad's on a business trip and Mom never comes home til like nine." He looked at me with a hungry smirk and stalked off the couch. Panic flared in my stomach for a second as I thought, he's way to deep. But he reached me before I could think of what to do. He pressed a slow, hard kiss against my lips and I kissed him back, not knowing until that moment how much I wanted him. The kiss deepened and he began kissing my neck. I heard the front door open and whispered something unintelligible as I pushed myself against him, causing him to walk backwards. His eyes fluttered open and closed until he collapsed, asleep and laying on my couch.
"Hadley, what the freak do you think you're doing?" He said. His voice was scariest when he was quiet, and we both knew it.
"Chester, I know you're mad... But he hooked way too deep." I started. Usually they only wanted to be around me, not actually have me.
"Oh really? I hadn't noticed." He said. He was about twenty and he was tall and thin. "You know better than to do that. He's not even the kind we want!" He said. I nodded and picked up my fedora. My special hat.
"Think we can take him now?" I said. There was no way he would be unhooked. No way.
"Tomorrow. When will he wake up?" Chester asked. His eyes were such a dark grey, they almost looked black. His hair was grey too, but he was only three years older than me.
"Umm tomorrow. The fastest one was the strongest one..." I said. I looked at Sherlock and smiled when I saw him. So plain and boring. So much potential. "But he hasn't had any awakenings. He needs to have at least two. Or else the switch will be impossible."
"Fine. You have a week. Make sure he has some." I nodded and Chester stormed out of my apartment. I walked over to Sherlock and pressed my hand against his forehead. I cringed at what I was about to do to him.
"Love... Passion... Trust... and Hope... Love for me... Passion for creation... Trust in Fate... and Hope for the best..." I whispered to him. His skin took on a soft glow and he smiled in his sleep. I smiled and walked into my own room, drained from the day's work. I collapsed on my bed and didn't wake up until I heard a panicked voice calling me.
"Hadley!" Sherlock yelled. I rolled out of bed, combed my hair, and pulled on a new outfit. This one was pink skinny jeans, a black blouse and my fedora, as usual. I walked out of my room to find Sherlock in my living room, panicked.
"Hey Sherlock. That was quite a nap you took." I said. He ran over to me and felt my arms, my face, just to see if I was real. I smiled and grabbed his hands in mine.
"Oh thank goodness, you're real. I had crazy dreams last night... Wait did I stay here all night?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah. You did." I said. He gave me a look that I understood perfectly.
"No nothing happened. Do you remember anything?" I asked. He shook his head wildly.
"Not a thing. Except I know you were here. That's really all." He said. I walked into the master bedroom and pulled a button up shirt from the wardrobe. I tossed it to Sherlock.
"Put this on. If you show up to school in the same clothes two days in a row, someone's bound to notice. Probably your girlfriend." I said. He pulled off his shirt and I had a few moments to admire his well defined chest before he buttoned up the shirt. It was light blue and went okay with his navy jeans. He looked at it in disgust. I walked over, undid the first two buttons, and folded the sleeves up to his elbows.
His eyes suddenly widened. "Oh no... My girlfriend. Shelly. We had a date last night." He said panicked. My face hardened. His girlfriend was making him slip through my hands. I couldn't allow that. I pulled him towards me and kissed him. He was surprised for a minute before his lips molded to mine and I opened my eyes during the kiss. He did the same for some reason and I let that special glint hook him again. I deepened the kiss for a moment before I broke it off and walked out into the hall of my apartment building. He followed me with both of our bags. I looked him up and down once I got to his car. His eyes switched back and forth from hooked completely to unsure. I gritted my teeth and hopped in his car. Once we got to the school, a thin red head ran up to Sherlock in a halter top and a short skirt. Shelly. Ugh she was annoying.
"Sherlock!" She ran into his arms and he hugged her, confused. She only pulled away when I got out of his car. "Excuse me, what are you doing giving her a ride to school?" She shrieked. Sherlock turned to look at me and I forced eye contact again. Love for me... I thought. His eyes became a little cloudy as he turned back to Shelly.
"I... I love her..." He said. I smirked at her disgusted face.
"No freaking way. No. What are you trying to say Sherlock?" She said.
"I'm dumping you... I guess." He was sounding more and more confused by the second. I gritted my teeth again.
"Were you with her last night?" Shelly screeched. Sherlock nodded, sure this time. He had woken up in my apartment, so he was definitely sure. "You were cheating on me?" She screeched again. He nodded, ashamed.
"I'm sorry, Shelly." He said. I could hear the pain in his voice.
"Fine." She whispered, with tears in her eyes. "Go ahead and leave me." She looked at me as she screamed the last part, "Leave me for that... that... outcast!" She ran off, her little friends trailing after her. I walked to Sherlock's side and looked at him. He smiled sadly at me and hesitated before grabbing my hand. He started walking towards the school. I pulled him back.
"No." I said, in my best flirty voice, "Let's not go to school today." I pulled him back towards his car and we got in. He drove where I told him until we got to a run down factory. Inside were boxes upon boxes of cans of paint. I pulled out a can of each color and grabbed a few discarded paint brushes.
"What are we doing here?" He said. I looked into his eyes again.
"We're going to paint, obviously." I said. We began to paint and he let the paint trail along the concrete. After a few minutes of doing this, he began twisting and forming, a pattern evolving from the paint. He spent hours just letting the paint go where it wanted. Late that evening, he declared that it was finished.
"What is it?" I asked, awe-struck.
"It's what I see... whenever I kiss you." He said. I could feel the power and passion behind it and I smiled. He had had his first awakening... To painting.
We spent the next few days exploring different creative outlets. Dance, he was no good at. Writing with him was just awful... On the last day, he had had another awakening. To carving. We had been carving things out of old wood. And his were beautiful. A week after that first day, we sat on my couch in silence.
"Do you believe in fairytales?" I asked him quietly.
"Before I met you, no. But now... yeah I guess I do." He smiled at me. I cuddled into his chest, wishing I didn't have to move from that spot ever.
"Close your eyes." I whispered. He did. I kissed his lips softly, slowly. He never kissed me first, I realized just then. "Find that place between dream and reality... between asleep and awake..." I felt him shudder underneath me. I squeezed his hand as I felt something tear... Before us was a black rip in the air. I pulled him off of the couch and he opened his eyes. Pure terror showed on his face before I pushed him into the void, following right after him. Solid ground supported us and Chester walked up to me. Sherlock was terrified and my heart wished it could help him. But my job was done.
"Welcome to Wonderland, Mr. Donovan." Chester said to him, "You have bee invited here per invitation of... the Mad Hatter."
Sherlock's head whipped towards me. "Hadley?" He whispered.
** TO BE CONTINUED **
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Heya, Eevee! Casanova here to do yet another review! Anyway, I thought I was done with short stories, but I believe I am completely mistaken. As you've noticed these reviews are jumping around, and that's because I'm going to do your poetry last, and I'm OCD in the order I do things so just bare with me. Anyway, I can't complain about the length since it is a short story, but my head's starting to hurt from reading all of these.
One thing I love is the,"TO BE CONTINUED," part. You've changed a lot from the Novel Chapters you have posted- it's actually a suspenseful ending and I really enjoyed reading that.
This isn't,"The dog is red." This is more like,"And the dog trailed through a pile of mud, letting his red fur get stuck with it. Will he ever get the mud off? Find out next time!" If you get any clue as to what the hell I'm talking about xD. Anyway, yeah. Suspenseful and tasteful, I say keep THAT up. Props for the change, my friend.
The next thing I noticed was the dialogue. May... May I asked what happened? I really enjoyed the dialogue. Yes, there are things you could tweak that would make it better, but overall I think you did a pretty decent job making the characters have EMOTIONS when they speak, instead of just saying,"My dog is red." So, again, props for that.
But, again, one thing I didn't like was the amount of dialogue in the short story. There is a LOT. Now if you were writing this for a movie script, I'd give you hella lot of props for that because it WORKS. But, alas, it's a short story and I can't really get into the whole lotta dialogue stuff.
Anyway, I think that's pretty much alll I have to say on this one. I'll get more specific in the next folder, I promise. Just wanted to finish this one off.
I hope this helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.
Your friend, Cassy.
OOOOOOOH "Hadley" because it sounds like "hat" and she wears a hat and she's the mad hatter, isn't she?

Ah! I'm dying to know what happens next. Like someone else said, I was feeling rather apprehensive in the beginning with the fast-paced romance and Mary Sue-like characters, but wow. That was actually really cool.
A few notes:
- There are quite a few grammatical errors. In some places, the commas are placed incorrectly. You use "that" instead of "who" or "whom" (if you're referring to a person or a group of people, always use "who" or "whom." "Who" would represent "he" or "she" or "they," while "whom" would represent "him" or "her" or "them."). Some typos, etc. It's not so bad that it distracts from the story; just make sure to go back and fix any mistakes.
- As I mentioned earlier, the characters are Mary Sue-like. Hadley's gorgeous, and seductive, and well-dressed, and seriously, unless it's actually important to developing the story, I don't want to hear about how gorgeous and seductive and well-dressed she is. I realize that because this is merely the first part, her charisma and the whole backstory and stuff are not fully explained, so maybe she's gorgeous and seductive and well-dressed for a reason. But reading this chapter by itself, I'm turned off by how perfect she is. I want to hear about her problems. Why it's important that she's gorgeous and seductive and well-dressed. Not about her violet eyes and shining hair and pink skinny jeans. Also, Sherlock. He's incredibly stereotypical. And his girlfriend. Just in general, try and add some more depth to your characters.
- Pacing. I know it can be difficult to mind your pacing when you have all this stuff just tumbling around in your brain and you *need* to get it out on paper, but try to go back and add some more detail, add some more in-between, add some more padding so that it's nicely paced. Right now, I love the story, but it's so quick that I find myself having to look back and go, "Wait. What?"
Overall, *love* the story. The characters need some work, but the general idea is definitely there. Grammar isn't too bad, but still go back and edit.
Happy writing.
Thanks for the review! I feel the pacing bit. When I was writing it there were literally ten people at my house, so I was kinda stressed to just finish it. I'll fix that in my revising period.
I know they're stereotypical, (it bugs me too) and I might change that a little bit. But I'm hoping that by making them stereotypical, I can set up the ending better, (Its still got some work to do, but him being plain and boring, really does have a point) As for Hadley being seductive and fashionable, I was mostly adding that in because I was attempting to shape her after Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter is supposed to loud, and crazy. So, violet eyes. Pink jeans. And her signature fedora.
I have thought about what you said, and will definitely change it if it doesn't go the way I thought it would. And I will fix the grammar, but that's usually the last thing I do XD
Thanks for the kind review! I'm glad you liked the story!
I trust your judgement
The story is sooo cool and the whole character thing makes more sense the way you explain it. Looking forward to the next part!
Hello!
So I stumbled upon this and decided to read it because it looked interesting.
I like this work, at first I was thinking it was boring and almost went to read something else, but then a slight twist in the story and it got pretty interesting fast. You use some pretty descriptive writing, this was an interesting read and now I want to know what happens next.
You had a few errors in spelling (Ex:"You have bee invited here per invitation of... the Mad Hatter." bee should be been?) but overall this was really good!
Great job and Keep on writing!
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
I am really liking where this story is going. It kept my attention the whole time I was reading which is always an important thing and you only had a couple mistakes (A few spelling/punctuation things, nothing to serious). This is one of the stories on here where I can't wait for the next chapter to come out. Keep up the good work!