That was awesome! I enjoyed the poem very much and was captivated to read it. The poem clearly prospers in expressing what it is about and is relatable to some extent. The poem seems complete in itself and is easy to understand as well.
The structure and form of the poem are good. The rhyming scheme was incredible and impressive if it was written by a student of the elementary school.
The word selection and usage were clean and smooth as well.
I loved these lines -
"I know you see me
I see you too
you look at me with broken eyes
and a heart shattered in two"
And these -
"But your broken eyes and broken heart
keep you from reaching out to me
so I stretch my arm to you
you take it and hold on to this glee"
Correction suggestions -
"and just as I begin to breath[e] you in"
Points: 62
Reviews: 30
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