she calls me beautiful
with quivering lips and trembling thighs;
the lipsticks’ smeared on the pig;
all dressed up in high heels with the smell of Vodka,
--a lingering taste of metal and sugar,
she calls me beautiful in her singsong voice—
a melody of engineered high-fashion and low self-worth.
ah, but don’t I crave the magical illusion
with the pretense, a definite faux pas, but who can blame—
of some surreal acceptance and in reality, just the opposite,
denial in the highest degree.
isn’t it ingénue, terribly cliché but horribly unadulterated?
this love of mine, unsubstantial and sporadic,
depending on my mood and how many Gins I’ve digested,
depending on the time of day and the time of approach;
could be a smorgasbord of hope or an epitome of failure.
she calls me beautiful with chipped teeth and a toupee
metaphorically bound to the life of the ordinary
formalities and normality filling the daily life with a dreaded bore
god save the queen and god save the world, and save me too, while you’re at it—
but I digress.
for with all the faults that mark her existence
she is still the Isis of my Greece, the Rệve in my Revolution,
and though her voice is shrilled to a painful pitch,
her mismatched eyeliner dripping into a pool of black, tears, and saliva,
she calls me beautiful.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Thanks Well!
I think it's really powerful to deliver an emotional piece like this in such a sarcastic and almost emotionless way. i did have to reread in a couple of places where the language was a little inflated, i.e.:
but it didn't bother me enough to make me hate it, and i actually think it kind of added to the effect.
basically a woman calls this person beautiful, and even though she's a low-life, its the fact that someone, anyone, finally said it...
I'm not really sure what I think of this--because I'm not entirely sure I understood it. I liked some of it, but then again it was real difficult to read (thick words, not smooth and flowing, just too "full". Does that make sense) so it wasn't too enjoyable.
The meaning behind it, or the idea? It doesn't come out too clear so I have no idea what this is about... slightly. From what I can understand, I think I'd like this more with actions and los more imagery rather than all the telling and explanations.
Ah, I really hope a small portion of this made sense. ^^;