SILENCE
The silence before. Focused on what is to come, the anticipation, expectant, waiting.
When to begin?
When the silence grows to its climax, too much for the ears and mind, too loud in its quiet stillness.
Then it begins.
Filling the senses, head and heart to the brim.
Rising and falling, the crescendos never quite strong enough, yet banishing all thought from the mind.
Head empty,
vacant space filled with sounds not fitting for this human body,
too fragile to cling to this feeling for long.
The silence after. The ringing of the ears, the relief.
All atoms in the body quivering, the air static with charge.
The echo of the music dies.
The silence begins to grow again.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
very interesting. i really enjoyed your poem. it was very discriptive and full of imagery. a deffinatly agree with kris..you have a way with words. you know how to use them and minipulate them into something great and powerful. great job!!!
Well you certainly have a way with words. That's not in doubt, I don't think...
However, I felt really unsettled by this poem. The syllables of some lines, were so long that I completely lost track of the metre. The first stanza is : 24/4/24/4. 24 beats is too long I think.
You do however have an excellent talent for description; without straying into purple prose. This my dear is a good thing
What a gorgeous piece of imagery!
A bit of a "run-on", it's just too long for there to be a metre.
This is an excellent line. It translate a very strong feeling vulnerability to the reader.
All in all, a very good piece of writing. A good poem? I don't know. However, it certainly was well written, and you are clearly a talented writer.
Have you thought about writing stories? I think you would do very well.
Love
Kris
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