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Young Writers Society


18+ Violence

One Moment In Time

by EuphoriaFalls


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for violence.

It's that moment you realize you never really had any friends. They were all really just her friends...and you were her accessory. It's that moment you realize you don't really have a favorite food. Because what she liked was the only thing that ever mattered. That moment when you look around the empty classroom and realize how far you've come and are suddenly hit with the fact that the only reason you're here is because of her.

"I want to stay together," she had said with that same shallow smile on her face, "we're in love, aren't we?"

And you believe her! Goddamnit, you believe her! You drink her words like they are the antidote for your plagued soul because love - LOVE of all things is the fucking answer to the riddle of your hungry heart. And she knows it all too well. And you know how well she knows...but you believe her anyway.

It's that moment when you stand alone in the science lab drinking beer until you can't think straight anymore when you're really supposed to be finishing a project.  The air-conditioning is roaring in your ears.  The coldness of the marble counter speaks to you in some subtle way.  You see a reflection of your dead broken heart in its shine.

It's that moment when you realize that you remain unloved as you always have been...as you always will be. You're still sick. You're still dying on the inside from a disease with no cure. A thousands coins in a fountain can't save you now. A thousand prayers at night will offer you no salvation.

There is no one...

No one...

NO ONE...

Oh god...

is there anybody...

please...if you can hear me please...PLEASE...goddamnit

It's that moment you realize that you are no one...because she was your everything...and now she's gone.

Everyone had gone on and on about how lucky you were, how fortunate you were, how blessed you were. Blessed to stand beside such a goddess of a girl. You were the lucky one! Ha. So lucky. And now that she's nowhere to be seen what does that make you. The unlucky one? The unfortunate one? The unblessed?

Was I so undeserving? You have to ask yourself.

It's that moment you come to the conclusion that yes...yes I was. I was the unworthy! I was the waste of space!

I still am.

Wasting all this good space. Oh heavens. What a crime. I'm a criminal! I'm a motherfucking criminal! Chain me up! Whip me til I realize my sins! OH, but I'm bleeding. i'm bleeding on the inside.

"No matter," they say, "he'll get over it. Just give him some time." And there goes the crack of the psychological whip again.

It hurts. It hurts. i hurt. please stop. i'm sorry. i get it now. It's my fault.

And then you repent. Think of the ways you could have done better. Try to figure out where you messed up. How could you mess up such a chance? How could you miss such an opportunity at...happiness?

Because she made you happy. You tell yourself this. Yes, she made you so happy because she...understood...you? Because she...cared...about you?

More questions. Less answers.

Flooding. Overwhelming. Can't control. Must stop. Stop. Stop! STOP!.......stop.

It's that moment when the world starts swirling around as the inebriation sets in and you can't remember where you are, let alone you're reason for being there. Your wayward subconscious running amok. Your mind is playing tricks on you. Small things get bigger. Or maybe your sober mind never realized how big they really were. But now you do. Now you realize how much you really hurt. Now you realize how much you're really suffering and it's killing you. Ruthlessly tearing you apart on the inside. You cry to God. Cry for freedom. Cry out of hatred and disappointment. Screaming as you glare through the windows into the desolate night sky. But...the words don't quite come out right.

"What do you even...not care...the...fuck. Fucking fuck! You don't care. YOU don't Fucking CARE!...God damn you!"

And even you don't understand.

But still you notice that no one cares. Not even God.

That's when the moment happens.

That's when you start rifling around obnoxiously.

That's when you start searching for something. You can't quite wrap your mind around what it is that you are searching for but deep down you know.

What you're searching for is a means to an end.

It's that moment when you're fingers brush across something and you get that tingly feeling run up your arm. Then you grab it. You're not careful about it. You're reckless and desperate and you've just about had your share of caring for one lifetime. You see red water dripping. You ignore it. Your hand screams for you to let go, but you grasp even tighter because the noise from your hand is the only thing keeping your subconscious from raping your emotions.

The red water continues to drip and your drunken eyes watch in awe though barely able to keep themselves open.

The handle of the object sticks out beneath the fist you've made around its sharpened edge. The red water glides mesmerizingly down its rubber grip. Drip. Drip. To the floor. A tiny pond of red water on the floor. Your hand continues to scream.

Your eyes open wide for a split second as you finally realize the proper way to hold the object. You take your other hand and place it around the handle as you release your screaming palm from the torture of its blade . The hand continues to scream.

You squint as you bring the object closer to your eyes. You examine it. It has a purpose. You can't quite figure it out...

...but your body knows all too well.

You bring the blade down. You trace the tip of the blade down the screaming palm and you stop at the wrists. You pause for a very long time. That's when it comes back. Your wayward subconscious starts making that horrid noise again. It tries to tell you something. And you hear it. And you feel it. And you realize...

...this is a knife.

Now you're scared! Oh, God I'm scared! What am I doing?! You have to ask yourself this question.

Do I want this?! This can't be what I want. Can it? You have to ask yourself these questions as well.

Maybe this is what I want...no...maybe this is what I need. You consider these things.

That moment as you are fighting desperately to understand your position between this world and the next and you make the decision to trust yourself because thinking, at this point, is simply impossible. But doing, however, is all too easy.

That moment as you're pinned between the scream of pain and the scream of fear and both are telling you NO but some darker force is whispering sweet nothings to you. Yes. This is for you. You deserve this. You deserve to do something for yourself for a change. You deserve to make your own decisions. Your life is your own. Do what you will with it. Prove them wrong. They don't own you. She doesn't own you. You are your own person DO IT FOR YOU. THIS IS FOR YOU.

The force convinces you this is the remedy for your tortured heart. And as your inhibitions fly off to Neverland, you devour those words to fill the void they left behind.

In that moment, you bring the blade to your wrist.

In that moment, behind you in the doorway of a room previously occupied by one becomes now occupied by two.

In that moment, you see the widening of the two eyes just making their entrance.

In that moment, you don't realize you are frozen.

In that moment, you hear and see brisk footsteps coming in your direction.

You watch as the only other occupant of the room stops in front of you and places their hands on the blade.

They look into your wondering eyes from below and opens their mouth to speak.

"Stop."


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44 Reviews


Points: 51
Reviews: 44

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Sun Jul 31, 2016 2:03 am
ofmonstersandmen1234 wrote a review...



This is great, dark and, melancholy. This is something most everyone can relate to.... (so can I)
It gives a sense of the darkness that can grow within someone. It makes for a great story that I really hope to see what comes next. I can't wait to read more of your works and this piece is one of the most relatable things I've read. It takes you to the dark place that the character is in and makes you feel everything that they are feeling. That is an amazing and took a long time for me to get how to do that and I'm still terrible at it. You execute the story very well and make sure that the reader understands what's going on. At first, I got a peer pressure vibe off of it but, as I kept reading I realized that it was something completely different. It has a good atmosphere and really hope that you do one of what happens after this because you left us on a cliffhanger. Thanks for the great read and I hope you have a really amazing Review Day.
-Sandman




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15 Reviews


Points: 122
Reviews: 15

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Thu Jul 14, 2016 3:04 am
ameliabedelia241 wrote a review...



This is a beautiful piece that was heartbreaking and inspiring the whole way through. It expresses a theme that so many of us can relate to, myself included. Honestly, i only have one real note on your story-probably because I've read Hunger Games way too many times-when you mention the whip, I thought your character was tied to a post because he/she tried to defend a disloyal lover/best friend. Maybe try to make a clearer distinction about that? I didn't realize the true actions of the narrator until the knife was brought out. Also, maybe a little more description on the betrayer, I found that really intriguing. Overall, this is a truly amazing piece of writing, and i cant wait to see what else you write!






Thank you for the review ^_^. I can totally see what you're saying about the whole setting the scene thing. When you see it all in your head it's hard to tell what someone else might be seeing when they read. I'll definitely review it and see what I can do. Thanks again for the helpful commentary.




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