Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
And chapter number 2. Let's see if I can lay this story to rest in about 1 and a half hours.
First Impression: Well looks like we are about to land and we cut to the two people who are going down. Or maybe it's another pair. I'll find out in the next chapter I guess.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Daniel sat frozen in the capsule as he watched the already massive globe as it grew larger. His constraints made even the tiniest of movement impossible, so he had nothing to do but watch. Watch, and think.
I think if you put grow larger there the sentence would have a better flow.
Daniel glanced across the capsule to Joshua, the only other human-- Or, at least, Terrestrial-- he would be seeing for a week. Although they had only met a month before their epic journey began, Daniel and Joshua had taken an instant liking to one another. And though they embarked over four years ago, to Daniel it felt like mere days due to the cryo-freezing they had endured.
So there are non-human terrestrials? That should be interesting.
Upon thawing, Daniel was surprised to hear Joshua's starkly different account. According to him, Joshua could recall every moment of his voyage; Pure blackness and unbearable cold for four straight years. Joshua, too, seemed different after the voyage. Quieter, hardened, as if he had spent too much time dwelling on dark thoughts.
Well that's interesting to see differences in the two accounts. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this.
As the cosmic sphere expanded beyond what his viewport could contain, a flicker of fear leapt across Daniel's mind. What was waiting for him down there? Hyper-advanced aliens, with power beyond his wildest dreams? Savages who could barely be recognised as sentient creatures? Or, perhaps, a race so similar to man that they could only be called human? Daniel shuddered. This was somehow the most frightening of all the scenarios he had envisioned. Savages, Daniel could understand. Aliens could understand him. But humans? They could barely understand each other.
That should be recognized according to my computer. Also WOW humanity messed up.
The Neural Emissions Reader and Organizer, or N.E.R.O for short, was one of the greatest technological breakthroughs since the advent of the magdrive, though it was one Daniel had no great love for. Though it was perfectly efficient, and it allowed for instantaneous non-verbal communication, to him it felt... Unnatural. Wrong.
The capsule suddenly shook violently, and Daniel was suddenly very thankful for his restraints. The edges of the glasteel viewport began to glow, superheated, and a plated cover slid over it. As it did, the capsule went completely black and shook again.
I think you need to hyphenate those two but again this is my computer or rather Google Chrome's advice so maybe not.
Although it sounded like mere rain or pebbles, Daniel knew that if even a single particle breached his painfully thin shielding, he would instantly die. This whole journey, it seemed to Daniel, was fraught with the looming threat of instantaneous death. He just had to trust that the engineers and programmers back home had done their job. Though he couldn't see anything through the blackness, Daniel closed his eyes and prayed fervently.
So is there a reason for the shielding to be dangerously thin? Or is this just for more drama?
And that's it.
Overall: Bit short for an entire chapter of a novel. Did you just upload a single chapter broken up as multiple parts but labelled them as 1,2,3? Besides that I like the characters so far. We get a hint of their personality and the premise sounds really interesting.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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