This is what the ending feels like.
You know when you're drowning
you don't actually inhale until right before you black out.....T
he instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you open your mouth.
Until you feel like your head is exploding.
Then when you finally do let it in that's when it stops hurting.
I'm fine, yeah aside from not sleeping.
The constant overwhelming crushing fear
that something terrible is about to happen is called hypervigilance.
The persistent feeling of being under threat
is not just a feeling though it's... it's like a panic attack.
You know like I can't even breathe
like im drowning?
So if you're drowning and you are trying to keep my mouth closed until that very last....
I'm trying to keep my mouth closed until that very last moment. But what if I chose to not open my mouth? To not let the water in.
You'll do it anyway it's reflex
But if I hold off until that reflex kicks in I'd have more time, right?
Not much time but more time to fight your way to the surface
I guess more time to be rescued. More time to be in agonizing pain.
Did you forget about the part where you feel like your head exploding?
If it's about survival... isn't a little agony worth it?
That doesn't answer the question...If you're doing this for the attention you need to stop
What if it just gets worse?
What if it's agony now and then...
Then it's just hell later on?
I would put more but I don't want to chase you away from this.
I'm sorry if this is too much, it's ok if you didn't like it.