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Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence Mature Content

A War of Time and Blood

by Eros_Angel


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Hm. Where to begin…I think the first ever known case of superpowers was about one hundred and forty years ago, in the year 2026. It was a case in Germany. A young girl, she had just turned ten if I remember correctly, showed signs of melanokinesis, or the ability to control ink. No one really knew what to do, it was the world’s first time experiencing something like this. It was like something out of a movie.

The leaders of the strongest countries got together, hoping to decide what to to with the child. It was agreed that her ability seemed harmless, but could it evolve into something more dangerous later? I mostly remember that people who were watching the meeting on TV would talk about how halfway through the debate another case appeared. This case circled a teenage girl in Panama who seemed to be toxikinetic, having the ability to control poison. The people alive back then would say it was like the world stopped.

As the week pulled on, just over three hundred cases of kinetic and chronic communicative abilities were documented, with at least one in every country. People began to realize that this was more than a simple melanokinetic in Germany. Many people started talking about superheroes and stuff like that. I mean it did seem like a lot of crap on could find in a comic book or anime or something. Of course, the theory was short lived, once someone has an idea someone else has to come along and ruin it. The idea was followed up with someone pointing out that a bunch of kids —most cases were between that ages nine and seventeen— probably couldn’t control their powers and would cause more damage than help.

This raised the next question: just how dangerous were they?

Another meeting took place, this one attended by at least one representative from every country, as it was a world wide issue. In this meeting, the topic being discussed was, once again, what to do with all the “super kids” who become known as ‘gifteds’. Two weeks into the debate and it seemed like they weren’t getting anywhere. Then the Brazilian representative brought up the award winning idea: why not just give them a school? Well two schools actually. One for the kinetic kids and one for the chronic communicative kids. Both schools would provide regular education and specialized education to help them learn to control their powers. It seemed to be the perfect solution.

Two years after the idea was first presented, both facilities had been built and staffed. All kids with powers were assessed to determine what powers they had and then were sorted into their respective schools. Over time the number of students (and cases) dwindled down to around a one hundredth of the original number. Since the original swell in 2026, later known as “The Manifestation” the amount of cases never even got up to a fourth of the number there had been at the time.

It was—

What?

Oh! My power…

Um…okay so one of the many benefits of having these schools was that now the kids could be studied, it wasn’t anything dangerous, just trying to better understand the new race of Gifteds. Over time there were many discoveries made, the two biggest ones though revolved around the actual powers in relation to DNA.

One of the discoveries was that there was no way to predetermine if a person would be Gifted, their DNA would change rapidly in a matter of days so the body could support its new ability. A carry on of this revelation was that there was never more than one person alive with a power some other living person had. Soon after this discovery the second ground shaking finding was revealed. As it happened with most powers they were equally matched concerning stamina and the power itself, they would make sure that no one person had more power than another. In addition to this, powers cannot be given away. That was what was believed until four cases showed up breaking both of these rules. These powers were incredibly strong and took no energy from the user/owner and even had a bonus ability, in addition to this they could be passed on to another person, but with a fatal cost. When the person had their power they wouldn’t age, but when they gave away their power they would rapidly age to how old they should be. This rapid aging almost always results in death as a change like that is unhealthy for the body even if it only a couple years. Through thorough monitoring is was determined that there were only six powers like this: hemokinesis, power over blood, psychokinesis, power to move objects with one’s mind, telepathy, mind reading, chronokinesis, power to control time, cyberkinesis, the ability to control technology, and photokinesis, the ability to control light.

…I know it is not directly about my power, which may I add you don’t even know what it is.

Nope! I’m not allowed.

Because…

I don’t want to.

Okay…what?

Name? Oh!

My name is Justinian Constantine DeMonte, I am sixteen years old, and I am a student at the International Institute for the Kinetically Gifted. Actually we call it the ‘double I KG’ . It’s easier to say—

Excerpt form (New and Old) students from the International Institute for the Kinetically Gifted: Interview with Justinian Constantine DeMonte.


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64 Reviews


Points: 135
Reviews: 64

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Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:42 am
QuoolQuo wrote a review...



A hoy hoy,

Let me just say that this idea is interesting and I am hooked, so here are some general comments;

The idea of using an interview is a brilliant way of dealing with exposition and giving a clear voice to a character.
One negative I might point out however is that in the paragraph addressing DNA, there is a rather long winded explanation about how a person's powers work. If you were to continue this story, some of this information could have been saved to be explained in a later chapter.

Huh, I wish I could write more but I can't think of any other negative thing to point out without delving into grammar or typos.

Oh well, have a nice day.

- H.G




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13 Reviews


Points: 74
Reviews: 13

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Wed Nov 06, 2019 6:39 am
Tere5350 wrote a review...



Hi there, this is Tere!

I love your structure, especially when you decide to put this into an interview. From Justinian's way of speaking, we can also see what kind of school "double I KG" is. Too me, it sounds like a laboratory since they take students to study. Maybe this is just me, and I don't like the idea of being "studied." :(

There are some areas that I think can make this piece even better, but feel free to neglect them if you happen to think the opposite.

First of all, I feel like even though this is an interview, the words coming out of Justinian seems more scripted than natural. Maybe you want to portray that, but if you don't I suggest adding some elements that make it appear more like the person is actually being herself/himself. You kind of demonstrated this when you included the part where she hesitated to reveal her powers as well as the part where she forgot what she was supposed to say. Yet, including a small part of her personality doesn't produce much of a realistic view of a person. Also to make this appear more lively, maybe include the part of the interviewer also because it can help identify why the character is saying what he/she is saying. I just feel like having a conversation between two people instead of showing one side of the interview makes the piece more interactive between both the readers and characters.

That is all, and I hope I make some sense. Again, this is just a suggestion, so feel free to ignore it.

Hope you have a great day! :)





Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
— -Apple Inc.