I hate parties, people will notice me… The fear of others seeing what I see in the mirror. Deep down I know that what I see isn’t real. I know that deep down. But I can’t figure out why I see myself like that in the mirror. I feel too skinny. I feel too short I see myself as a skeleton, as a little girl who can’t form words properly yet. I’m so afraid to let people see me. I hide under layers of clothing. No matter how hot it is, my body is always covered from the eyes of others. They can’t see me.
They can’t see me.
They won’t see me.
I hate my hair… I hate my eyes, I hate my nose… I hate my ears, my smile, my weight, my hands… I want to be like her… But I’m not as pretty, I have nothing to like.
I hate parties… I know people will see me. They’ll whisper into each other’s ears about me and giggle. They’ll walk past me and I’ll catch the stare of a girl criticizing me. Everything I do they watch. I hate eating… When I eat I feel fat. I look fat. I hate everything I wear… they cling to my skin and show everyone else what I look like. Thank the gods for hoodies.
I hate parties, There are too many people who’ll want to talk with me… too many people who expect something from me. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations…