Jane Doe

Wow. This was an amazing read. I enjoyed this as a poem, but would love to hear this song as well! The transformation of a young girl is an interesting topic. I will probably read this again and again! I would recommend this to most poets.

Epic,

I kind of want to address your Author's note before tackling the poem, in that I think you'll find that there will never be a single original idea in the sense that ideas are always rehashed from one thing or another - and the difference between two similar poems of the same content, speaking the same meaning, written by two different people - the difference will always, always be in the execution. The process, not the journey, eh? And as far as the way that this was executed from what I can see, it is completely and uniquely your own.

That being said, I'm going to disagree with all the previous reviewers (I'm awful I know) xD I actually find that this fits and would do much better as a song, being that the form is pretty much that of a song, verses and a repeating chorus. If you're looking to turn this into a poem I would think to do more metaphors or figurative language. Poems are all about creating an experience for your readers. The way that we experience the world -- through our senses -- in a poem, we'd want to create elements the readers can "sense": see, feel, touch, smell, taste, but I digress.

But for what this is, a song about the growth and realization of self, I'd say it's pretty darn catchy.

~ as always, Audy

Oh my this was beautiful. The passion, the creativity, and the feeling that something is way out of the logic world. I actually got a Slenderman feeling. I don't know why. You say this was a dream... Your dreams are amazing. Really. I can come with an easy statement(and a funny one too if i might add): You dream with such passion that Shakespeare would cry for mercy everytime you dream.

She looked in the mirror, not recognizing
who she saw.
A creature with ragged flesh,
eyes an empty casket.

Thanks, you guys. c: No, that was my first me, that I realized it wasn't centered, so I guess I forgot to delete it. xD It is gone now.

Hi!

I've never heard of anything like this. I found this poem really interesting. I could see how you thought it could possibly be a song, but I think it does work much better as a poem.

I really liked the repeated verse, and my favourite verse had to be the ending. I love how you made the 'me' bold to empathize it. I don't think you should've repeated the word though. And if you did, why was it to the side.

Nice job!

Deanie x

Hi there!
I'm not a huge poetry reader, but I personally have never read anything like this!
Onto the poem: I thought it was brilliant! A lot of the time I find when I do review poetry it has a strong message or is powerful but it doesn't flow quite right. Yours, on the other hand, was completely fluent.
Also I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, so good on you for that!

Gone was the child,
Gone was the innocence,
in her place was a
Jane Doe.
No turning back,
no reversing the past,
the Jane Doe is
me.