I'd like to say a massive thanks to Tam for her never ending encouragement to me to continue writing and on expanding my short stories to novels; and for being a good friend. Also, to Idrinkink for helping me through my depressive episodes.
Also to my friend Courteney (that's if she ever joins YWS) for never failing to brighten up my day and having me in fits of laughter.
And last but not least, to Logan, Maisoon, Hannah, Valerie, Adam and Farida for always being there for me and for their endless support and understanding.
Guys, this one is for you!
-EnigmaticSpirit
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White Noise
(Prologue)
I live in binary worlds: one with sound and one without sound. I have two wondrous little switches, one by each ear. When I switch them to off, I'm transported to my own world and everything becomes clear.
One world is normal: full of unfamiliar faces and endless confusion. Faces take on new meaning: loving, angry or smiling? I gaze into these faces and I ask myself just what are these ears hiding? When it all becomes too much, I turn the switches to off and I'm transported to my own world where sounds and face expressions are meaningless, lost.
It’s my place to escape to, my own world built with my imagination’s tools with my own rules. I am the king and the queen; the prince and the princess; I am the sun in the sky and the flame in the darkness.
This is my own place, my own world. There is no sound here, just myself and my imagination. It’s inside my head, secure and stowed away in my mind, hidden away from the likes of you.
This is how I am different. Different from you.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,786 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well that does seem pretty exciting here...binary worlds is certainly an interesting concept here, not something that you run into too often in stories either, and it looks like this is a pretty chill switching technique too here...a press of button certainly sounds a lot more convenient than most of the techniques that you run into in these stories and that's pretty exciting too here.
Well declaring that one world is normal and immediately proceeding to talk of how unfamiliar and confusing it is kind of seems a touch ironic there, but well, this is a pretty interesting pair of descriptions here for the two worlds, a familiar world with no expressions and an another world is unfamiliar things...well...all in all, looks like it makes for a pretty interesting pair, not to mention it makes the protagonist very interesting too here.
OKay, that does sound like a pretty cool plan there, not to mention, that's a pretty cool and rather powerful character if they're someone with the power to literally have an entire world built on their imagination and have the whole world just be them, it seems like someone with some serious capabilities there...and the fact that they're attempting to escape all that adds some nice mystery to this prologue here.
And well that narrows things down quite a bit, it appears this whole other world thing is just some sort of imagination in this person's which is interesting, but also not quite as cool as the whole multiple worlds thing. At any rate though, this is still pretty intriguing there even with the reveal at the end, and it does seem like the type of story that I would read here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I really think this shows potential. I didn't spot any spelling mistakes or mistakes with grammar. The prologue itself leaves so much potential for future chapters, and this is very good. I assume that your character finds it hard to register facial expressions without the voices?
Either way, this is very good, though for future chapters, I think longer chapters would be best.
This was a really interesting idea. I like the way you wrote it as well.
JK. I wouldn't want other siblings at all.
It’s my place to escape to, my own world built with my imagination’s tools with my own rules. I am the king and the queen; the prince and the princess; I am the sun in the sky and the flame in the darkness.
I love that paragraph. It really shows how in control the character is. In some ways I wish I could sometimes do that. Block out everything else. (like brothers
Anyway, I'm not too great at finding punctuation errors, but I saw no obvious ones. I'd like to see what comes afterwards.
Keep it up!
Hello
I like the prologue for sure. It's very interesting. Seems to be grammatically correct, I don't see any thing wrong with it at all to be honest. Seems pretty descriptive as well. I'm curious and interested to keep reading so hope you can post more on here soon!
Also, I'm very curious to ask: Where did you get the idea for this story?
This is good, I really like this.. I can't really help much since I am new but I'd like to know what happens next
I like your creativity and how this is written, the spelling and grammar is good and I like how it is very descriptive, link when the next part is up? ^.^