Young Writers Society

Chapter two

"The beast."

I'm still lost I'd say to myself, but I have hope, hope that would soon come to light.

I never knew that light would be you.

As I look into my reflection, I look back onto myself. I see the corruption in my eye, a dark perpendicular lapse in time reminding me of who I could be.

Who was I? Better yet who am I?

I am a shadow of the good man I once was, my humanity on the thread, I had burned to almost non existence.

Retreated in colour, and faded by the regret and turmoil I had so effortlessly caused, I am reminded everyday.

You never realised I was broken, you never saw my mask, you looked under it to find the remnants of innocence I once had. My crooked smile never swayed your attempts at getting to know me, it was my ignorance and shame that made me forget myself, and in that process; begin to forget you.

Looking into your eyes, I feel a burning inside my chest.

My heart warms in it's cold abyss, a long forgotten feeling. 

I no longer feel, I stop myself from feeling, as to block the memory of you.

The road is long, and I knew not where I would end up, I had to change, I was going to change, I just didn't realise how much.

It all began in the airport, a systematic flow of cultures, being pressed into a tin can, a crossroad of directions, a plethora of emotions.

And there I was, pressing through crowds, just as I had done in the years before, hiding what I felt inside; of fear of being sighted and spoken too.

I felt like I was wearing a suit, a suit of skin and bone I had made through years of masking and pretending to be something I was not, I was scared somebody would un-mask and reveal my true identity.

My head tilted, weighted by the constant war inside my mind as to whether I was doing the right thing, I felt the blood run through my veins, compressing my brain, echoing everything I was leaving behind.

But that is exactly what I needed to do, leave everything behind, I needed to discover more then just distant lands, I needed to discover myself.

My journey is selfish, I have removed myself from everything I know, and everyone that knew me.

I'm vanishing, and nobody will know.

I am alone in a world that is too busy to see who I should be, and just accepts the monster I have become.

The sad thing is, I know in myself that I probably won't be remembered, people won't question my disappearance, I've echoed more of my pain to others, then to the shattered mirror of a costume I had created around myself.

I am a fraud.

So when you think of me, and think of the pain I traced onto your heart, you will know why I chose to be free, and chose to change myself and release the shackles of my own self-hate.

This is whats inside my mind.

And why you will never know just how much you really did for me.

This is what lead me to you, this is my history, and who I was, you would never have wanted me.

I could never bring myself to tell you the truth of what I was like, how I used to torment

and ridicule, all because I could never accept myself, I refused to accept others.

But the darkness in me is what lead to the light, and lead me to you.

I can no longer hide in fear because I know somewhere out there is a cure.

My cure.

- End of chapter two -

(This chapter is all about going back and explaining who I was, it's supposed to be dark, a progression of light and my journey can only really be told truthfully If I am honest, and go into the darkest parts to really show how things got brighter)

Thanks for reading :)