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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

A Beautiful, Wonderful, Completely Normal Beach Day for All

by EnderFlash


My friend asked me, as summer is almost over and school is nearing, to write a story with the TaCoLiZy group at the beach. I have no idea how this will turn out, since the prompt is just beach and nothing else. Finally, a story in which I can let loose!

===

“Cozaaaart! The water’s too salty!” Tarrence, who had been a pest the whole whole arrival trip, whined and poked Cozart in the arm. The two were sitting on a towel under the shade of beach umbrella that the twins had generously provided them with. Around them, children ran around and tripped in the sand while adults contently leaned back on beach chairs. Even though Cozart had purposely chosen a place that was relatively abandoned, it was still a bit too crowded for Tarrence’s tastes.

Cozart took his eyes off the novel he was reading to send Tarrence an exasperated look. “Tarrence, we came here to play, not so that you could scare off the entire population with your weird plants. If the water’s not to their liking, don’t bring them out! Now go join the girls; they’re having much more fun than you and I are right now.”

“But… but!” Tarrence held up both his hands, where two flowery vines were wrapped around his arms. “Marie and Bruce need to have fun, too! I took them out to enjoy the water, but they can’t if it’s so salty!”

Cozart’s only response was to lightly smack Tarrence’s hair curl and point to the water. “Go,” he said as if he was talking to a dog. Then, he threateningly held his other hand over ‘Marie’. “Or I’ll make it so that they can’t… talk... for a week.”

With a horrified gasp that should’ve only belonged in movies, Tarrence flinched and protectively held the vines away from the other boy. Tears of hurt began to well up. “H-How could you?” He gritted his teeth, grudgingly transferring the vines to wrap around his neck. “Fine. I see how it is, Cozart.” With that, he stormed off towards the ocean, leaving Cozart behind.

Slightly lowering the sunglasses he was wearing, Cozart stared at Tarrence’s shrinking backside. “That sounded as cheesy as hell.” With that, he returned to his blissful reading.

Peeking back, Tarrence growled upon seeing an undisturbed Cozart. “Darn it. I even practiced that moment.” Scanning the water, he located his two friends and took off, kicking up sand as he ran. “Zyxi! Lia!”

Zyxi turned to look at him, her usual pigtails a soaked sheet that came down below her shoulders. She groaned and ducked her head underwater as if that would cause the plant boy to go away. Behind her, Lia floated around in a pink inflatable ring. Unlike the older girl, Lia happily waved at Tarrence, nearly tipping herself over in the process. Lia’s hair was also taken out of its ponytail, but hers was more a tangled mess than completely soaked, since she was in a tube.

Wading into the water until it was up to his waist, Tarrence was disappointed to see that the girls were still a dozen feet or so away from him. He knew how to swim, of course, but his precious plant babies didn’t like salt, and he never wanted them to be upset.

He brushed away a leaf that was tickling his chin. “What… what should I do, you two? I don’t want to leave you, but…!” Biting his lip, Tarrence placed his hands on Marie and Bruce and choked back a sob. “I don’t have another choice! This is the only way that-“

He was abruptly pulled further into the water by his arm, which also made him lose his footing and dunk straight into the water, eyes and mouth still open. Almost immediately, he gave an inhuman gurgle and surfaced, his gurgles turning into a screech. “MY EYES! THE SALT! IT BURNNSSSSS!”

Zyxi was in front of him, bobbing up and down. She couldn’t stand on the sand without her head ducking under the water, so she had to jump, littering her speech with pauses, gulps, and splashes. “Stupid… what… the heck are…. you doing?”

Tarrence was still rubbing his eyes and spitting when he answered. Unlike Zyxi, he was alternating between doing the previously mentioned actions and using his limbs to keep his neck as far out of the water as possible. His vines were still there, after all. “Zyxi! What the hell are you doing?! That wasn’t just mean, that hurt! Oooh, now Marie and Bruce are soaked, too.”

Before the two could launch off into an argument, Lia paddled over, slipping out of her inner tube and promptly putting it around Tarrence. “Here you go, Tarrence!”

Although confused by her sudden action, Tarrence gratefully supported himself with it. Now with his chest out of the water, he flicked some water droplets off of his plants. “Thank you, Lia. You’re the kindest girl I know.”

Zyxi scoffed at the subtle insult. She floated on her back so that she wouldn’t have to keep on hopping. “You sure, Lia? You’re even smaller than me. Also, Tarrence, that may have to do with the fact that the only women you know are me and Lia.”

Tarrence pouted. “That’s not true! I have Marie, and Sona, and, and Al-!”

“Let me rephrase it,” Zyxi said, smirking. “How many girls do you know who are not potted plants placed around the house?” Tarrence opened his mouth to answer, but Zyxi noticed and added, “Who aren’t vines growing around the house, either.”

Stumped, Tarrence slouched in his inner tube. The fact that it was a bright pink made him look ridiculous, and the flowery vines around his shoulder certainly didn’t help his image. “The beach was supposed to be fun…”

Lia doggie-paddled over to Tarrence and poked him to get his attention. “Why isn’t Cozart playing in the water with us?” It was an innocent question, typical of Lia, but it gave Tarrence an excellent idea.

A smile creeping across his face, Tarrence saw that Cozart was still reading his little book. “You’re right, Lia. It’s a downright shame that little Cocoa isn’t fully appreciating the beauty and fun of the water! Why don’t we go get him to come?”

“I want no part in this,” Zyxi said, hooking onto the pink inner tube so that she could talk vertically. It nearly toppled over with the added weight, but she ignored that. “Cozart will ban every single one of your rights. And I will be one the sidelines with all your banned stuff, laughing.”

Tarrence, naturally, ignored her and leaned forwards, kicking his way back to the shoreline. Lia followed with a strange swimming style that she probably devised herself; it consisted of kicking her legs and doing breath-stroke movements with her arms. As soon as the shore became shallow enough for him to run faster than he could swim, Tarrence took off for Cozart, not bothering to take off the inner tube. Needless to say, he gained many weird looks.

“Cozaaaaart!” Sand uncomfortably stuck to his feet and ankles, but the sheer anticipation of what was to come let Tarrence ignore that. He snatched Cozart’s book out of the surprised boy’s hands, threw it onto the sand, and then grabbed Cozart’s hand. Ignoring Cozart’s protests, Tarrence pulled him to his feet and took advantage of Cozart’s confusion to drag him along a good distance.

Right before they hit the part of the beach where the sand became gray from the waves, Cozart realized what was going on and stopped, digging his heels into the sand. “Tarrence, what are you doing?” Although he asked that, Cozart already knew what the answer would be.

Tarrence turned and gave Cozart a big smile. “Why don’t you find out? Lia, now!”

Lia, who had been following the two, pounced, running her fingers up and down Cozart’s side. Ticklish as he was, the purple-haired boy squeaked and let down his guard, giving Tarrence the chance to wrap a vine around his stomach. Hoisting him high into the air, Tarrence ran for the water, laughing maniacally.

“WE’RE IN PUBLIC!” Cozart cried, futilely flailing his limbs. Around them, visitors screamed and ran. A giant vine kidnapping a person was not part of their planned vacations.

“It’s alright!” Tarrence yelled up to the other boy, his steps slightly put off by the fact that he had to support the vine gripping Cozart with both arms. “The twins can erase their memories later!”

“Isn’t this fun?” Lia cheerfully followed the two, giggling at the scene. “I wish Zeke was here with us!” Zeke was her tiger, and he hadn’t been able to come for obvious reasons.

Tarrence slowed down once he was in the water, since even walking in water was a lot harder. “Go!” Extending his arm with a flourish, he had the vine grow further into the depths and then dump Cozart into the ocean. Zyxi watched this all with a dumbfounded expression, but didn’t go after Cozart, since she couldn’t swim very well.

For a while, there were nothing but bubbles and ripples. Then, Cozart came up with a gasp, his t-shirt and shorts soaked. His sunglasses were miraculously still on, but were tangled in his hair rather than covering his eyes. He was met with a splash wave caused by the same vine that had rather painfully thrown him into the water.

Tarrence continued laughing like a madman, arms bent upwards and fingers contorted in a villainous pose. The vines retreated and shrunk, wrapping back around his arms. It was a perfect scene: a young boy crowing at his victory while people ran, screamed, and dialed phones in the background.

Cozart freestyled his way back immediately, grabbing Tarrence’s shoulder and forcing the younger boy to face him. With his red eye burning in anger and eyepatch soaked, revealing the shape of the mechanical orb underneath, he made quite the frightening image. “When we get back,” he growled, “you are not allowed to visit any time zones for a month. Nor eat fertilizer. And I will freeze one of your plant friends until that month is over.”

“Told you,” Zyxi whispered as she trudged past him, planning to dry herself off and call in the twins. Cora and Cori had a lot of work to do.

Behind her, the terrified cries of a plant boy joined the sounds of the hysterical populace.

Lia clasped her hands together and smiled at the scene. “I’m so happy we got to go on this vacation!”


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35 Reviews


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Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:16 am
MrMuddyPig says...



This is funny and its allmost like iIam in the action, I also like how you give your charcters personalities. Also I like the drastic things in this story. And just one more question, where did you get the name "Zyxi?" Thats a unique name.




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Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:34 pm
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emilycaroleena wrote a review...



This short story was quite humorous, I could definitely relate with the characters with my own group of friends. And I'll tell you that I am exactly like Cozart around my family and friends. This story made me laugh (which I earned some weird look from my siblings) and I loved it. Thank you for sharing your work with everyone :)




EnderFlash says...


I'm glad it did :3 After doing a bunch of LMS, I just kinda went "PERFECT TIME TO WRITE SOME STUPID STUFF", and so here this story is.



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Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:51 am
RubyRed wrote a review...



Hello EnderFlash this is Wonder from the Phi team here to review your work. :) I thought this was a very original idea and the characters were funny and amusing. I'd have to say I liked Lia most of all because she reminded me of myself and was very happy and nice even with this very odd situation going on. I'd like to comment more on the characters and the story but first let me point out some simple errors.

The two were sitting on a towel under the shade of beach umbrella that the twins had generously provided them with.


Who are the twins? Maybe you could list their names like this... that the twins -- and -- had generously provided them with. That way it's less confusing.

Cozart’s only response was to lightly smack Tarrence’s hair curl and point to the water.


I don't quite know why but this doesn't make sense to me maybe you can rewrite this so that the reader understands what you meant here.

“MY EYES! THE SALT! IT BURNNSSSSS!”


I know this is supposed to be dramatic but when you added extra s's it started to look like he was hissing like a snake.

“Stupid… what… the heck are…. you doing?”


Zyxi sounds very insensitive not that that's wrong but why would she swim over and make him feel bad like that? Why not just ignore him? Maybe you could say why she went over to him or maybe she wanted to pester him?

Zyxi scoffed at the subtle insult.


When did he insult her?

This work was a little more like a rough draft. I know you put a lot of effort into this because of the length and such but I feel like you could do much better. The characters are very cool but I'd like to know they look and what their personalities are like. I don't feel like you expressed that enough. Also and some more conversation to this that makes it more interesting.

I really liked how the story ended too. There was a dramatic fight then Lia says:

“I’m so happy we got to go on this vacation!”


:D

Keep up the good work I hope to read and review some more of your writing.

~Wonder <3




EnderFlash says...


I appreciate how you took individual quotes to tell me your opinions. Yes, I guess my problem is that whenever I write stories centered around these characters, I skimp on the backstory details because my friends and I have taken over a year to create the characters already. Then, I just go crazy assuming that the reader will know what the heck I'm talking about, when really, only my friends and I do. Like, Tarrence has a ahoge/cowlick (not exactly sure which one my friend intended to give him), so that's what Cozart meant by smack his hair curl. The twins are Cora and Cori, with a long history behind them. Zyxi and Tarrence also don't really like each other, so they pull off jerk moves when they can. Sorry, these were my fault. x3x

Also, Tarrence took a jibe at her when he said that Lia was the nicest girl he knew. Meaning, Zyxi was not nice. A little too subtle, I guess.

Anyways, thank you for the lengthy review! I'll look out for these kinds of stuff next time :P



RubyRed says...


:)



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Wed Aug 26, 2015 5:28 am
Dustbunny14 wrote a review...



Hey! Dustbunny here for a review! I must say I really enjoyed this piece, reason being because I really like the idea of reading just a short little, happy go lucky bit of writing, something just casual, and yet it tosses you into the ocean water at the same time! So, yeah, I personally really liked it.
Now as far as a review goes i must admit, i'm not a grammar nazi, or an English major, more of a casual reader. That being said I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes. Just me though, if you felt like improving this piece and going for it in a magazine or something the two things I would say are the first line here:

“Cozaaaart! The water’s too salty!” Tarrence, who had been eagerly asking “Are we there yet?”
^^ For me, right here i kinda had to stop before I even got into the story, just the way it was written threw me off and i sat there for a minute going. "Tarrence... Like... Tarrence said or like... wha?" Again, not a grammar guy, whatever I have to say is opinion so take it for what you will. Anyway the other thing was the ending, it felt just kinda dull, and maybe a little cheesy, maybe close out with something that means something to the story, like make a plant joke or something, i'm not sure. Just my thoughts.

Anyway! Loved it! Thanks for sharing!




EnderFlash says...


Pretty fast review! I've changed the first problem; you're right, it's awkward. The second one, I'm afraid I won't be changing the ending. I know it's cheesy, but I wanted to squeeze in one last showcase of Lia's derpy personality. xP However, I'm not going to deny that it's pretty cliche. Sorry.



Dustbunny14 says...


Totally fine! It's just my opinion anyway! I hope to read more cheesy endings from you in the future! xD




It's like being in love, discovering your best friend.
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