Lady Hitler

Emozemo wrote:“Yesterday I taught you thermodynamics. Have you revised all of the laws?” Asked Miss Ghost addressing all of the students in the class.

Imagine a teacher with thick 2.5 mm specks, and a totally headstrong Character. [May you could try to describe what this teacher looks like more, how tall is she? What colour is her hair? Is she attractive? How old is she?] That’s Ghost Ma’am Most Unwanted teacher Of School among students. [I didn't understand that bit.]

All the students replied, “Yes” in unity but among them there were Few “No’s” from the last benchers, as usual, whose voices were hardly audible under the sound of the others. Some of backbenchers that uttered “no” were Akash and Anshul. The famous Back Benchers for all the notorious activity in School, but Akash was pretty different. Among 62 Students in class and almost thousand in school, Akash was not common student. After getting defeated by cutthroat competition for head boy in school cabinet. Everybody knew his as L.O.S.E.R. [You need to explain this more, I can't understand it, and you tend to use capital letters in places where it isn't needed.]

"You! Tell me the first law," commanded Ghosh [I thought she was called Ghost?] ma’am pointing to a studious boy with thick specks exactly like hers sitting in third bench. Anybody would think him as Ghosh’s family member, would even suspect that she was doing partiality by asking him question. [What? o.o]

In the last bench, the two boys, Akash and Anshul were absorbed in their own activites, paying no attention to the rest of the class. [Or something like this, the other sentence made no sense]

“Love cannot be created nor destroyed., but can be transferred from one girl to another. How’s my first law?” asked Anshul in a low voice so that only both can listen with an attempt to crack a joke. Both started giggling, listening to this teacher turned around for a moment to find out who was odd in the class and in no time they stopped and became serious. Again Saved!
[Still finding it hard to understand what this means]

“Over?” asked Akash “ Let me concentrate on my mobile. Can’t you see hot stuff is on?”

Listening to this Anshul frowned, how could his friend ignore him so abruptly? So he continued to find Law in thick Physics book that was hided secretly beneath the bench to help in this kind of critical situation. Started scanning from the very first page, instead of directly switching to “Thermodynamics” Chapter to find out law. It was not his problem that he was searching in wrong chapter, usually backbencher even don’t know exact chapter and content. You need to write things in a better order, you're putting words in the wrong place and it makes this really hard to read.

Because he was unable to answer the question, the teacher punished the boy that had looked like her family member, by making him stand up for the rest of the period as a ‘Punishment’. Anshul then became frightened and started to scan the pages fasterand finally reached the “thermodynamics” chapter and started memorizing the law.

“Akash! Beware you know this teacher, Why don’t you read law once?” Who said this?

“Don’t disturb me.” And this?

“Here it is in the book, I have found” And this?

“Can’t you see what I’m Doing?” And this?

As the conversation finished Anshul looked up and saw teacher approaching towards their bench. Frighten Anshul hided the book properly and elbowed Akash about teacher moment.

“What happened?”

“Ma’am Coming. Hide it! Fast...”

Listening to this Akash mind stopped processing getting confused, unable to find perfect place to hide it, he placed his mobile beside the book, so that’s its out of teacher sight

“What you both were doing?” Asked teacher watching sudden abrupt movement of Akash, which created a scene that there was something going on.

“No-Nothing Ma’am” Stammered Akash.

“The tell me First law of Thermodynamics”

“Love can...” tied his tongue realizing what crap he was saying.

“Love?” Puzzled teacher and even whole class started laughing ‘Love’ in Physics period and that too in front Ghosh Ma’am.

“Shut up everybody. I don’t want to hear any noises” Shouted Ma’am to whole class with anger.

“I don’t know ma’am” replied Akash moving his head down shamefully.

Akash wasn’t sure whether its was direct call or message that made his mobile vibrating, But he was able to feel the vibration sensation in bench, which was live demo of one of physics law.

Gurrrrrr! Gurrrrrrr!

Akash recognized this vibration was from his mobile and was afraid that even teacher could listen or feel it not?

“You don’t know. You were in class yesterday” questioned teacher with slight irritated tone.

“Yes- Yes ma’am” replied Akash giving a nod, but his mind was vibrating with the vibration of mobile.

Gurrrrr!! Gurrrrr!! Again...

Due to rhythmic vibration effect of mobile it was continuously moving towards the edge of bench with little moments . Giving A proof ‘Every Action has equal and opposite reaction’. Akash dint notice these moments, he dint know what these moments age going to bring big trouble, if he would have noticed then he might have saved his mobile.

Dhapak!!!

Mobile fell hard of floor from 3 feet high of bench. Quickly Akash bend down trying to grab and was even successful until the last moment.

“What was that sound of falling something?”

“No-Nothing ma’am”

“Show me your hand,” instructed teacher.

“Ma’am it was nothing” said Akash trying to convince teacher “Anshul did you hear any sound?”

“Don’t act over smart show me your hand” said teacher in stiff voice.



To Be Continued..

I just read this, and well nice dea. I guess we all have a Lady Hitler in our school!! (i do!)
As meep says, take some time off, improve your language skills. Try online free classes, there are many I'm sure.

Till then
~Lava

I liked how the story played out and want to know what happens next! The basic outline of the story is good, there are just some spelling mistakes and connectives missed out that would make the story flow better. Alot of 'a's and 'the's are missing and sometimes the story can seem a bit jerky but this can all be easily fixed. Other than that I think that its a good way of starting a story and the title certainly caught my attention!

Lady Hitler is one way to catch the reader's attention.
That was a good title, but the story has to fit it.

The basic foundation of a writing a story, is that people have to be able to understand what you're writing in the first place.
Your ideas always seem that there are chances to develop,
But sadly, you aren't able to put them down properly in words.
So what I would suggest right now,
Is to take some time off your stories,
And work on your english.
Once it has improved, then it would be safer to continue writing,
Because your audience won't have to struggle to understand.
Just take it step by step, and you'll get there.
Perseverance is the key to success

All the best and good luck,
~Meep~