Published September 30, 2011
I turn to no one, screaming
To the skies;
I'm dreaming.
Wake me up?
Wake me up?
Wake me up?
Don't dare.
Higher Power; Dear Lord,
Heal the pain you could have cured.
Give me back my Mum!
Or are you proud
That I'm not numb?
I know how to scare off monsters;
My Mum didn't.
Mummy didn't:
Calm your baby
when she screams;
And when
You sing,
Don't make
Her dream.
Baby knows
Of those bad things.
Gently rock your baby daughter;
And
As you mutter,
Sing,
Or stutter,
Don't just walk away...
It’s dark, now.
Sleep tight, now.
I'll close the door,
And...
Baby cries.
Don’t be afraid, because
If I shut the door,
Those bad things
Won’t be on your side anymore.
Baby cries.
What is this red and sobbing?
Baby screams, and lapses fright; but Mum just rolls her eyes,
To the skies;
"Oh, to God's delight," is all I think to cry out,
Night after
Night after
Night.
I can’t breathe, baby.
Stop screaming for me.
I can’t breathe, baby.
Breathe for me.
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141,357 Literary Works • 674,380 Reviews
Please judge this; I need reviews xD!
Thank you! 
Well, for starters, this is really good. I liked it a lot, although it was a little confusing to me. I didn't really get what was going on in some parts, but that's probably just me.
I really like this stanza, it's a good way to open your poem with.
I find this really choppy, it seems to break the flow and rhythm of the poem. I think it's because you break it up. Maybe it would sound better it you went like;
'When you sing,
Don't make her dream,
Maybe not, but that's just my opinion. Also I don't really like 'and' starting things off, it's really not needed to begin something.
I like this part as well, I just don't think you need the 'And', I think it would be better off without it. Personally, but that's my opinion again.
This line confused me. What does it mean?
I really liked this part of the stanza. It just works really well here.
I really liked this part as well, and I think it's a good way to end it.
~Tayla
Um, wow. This is fantastic. Honestly, I don't really have any critique. I really wish I could write half this good! Please keep writing stuff like this, and you'll have a loyal reader forever. c:
My, this is a haunting piece. I especially love the last line. "Breath for me." I especially loe how it seems to go back in time from the start of the poem to the end. This may or may not be intentional, but it's a cool effect.
If i had to change one thing though, I woud suggest changing
"Dear,
Lord,
Higher Power;"
to
"Dear, Lord,
Higher Power;"
I just think it looks slightly better. You have a neat sense of rythem though.