Needs alot of work?! Wow that is good! Me really like! You can write better than me... Grr!
I love it, I will now read the rest and comment. 
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
I'M READING THESE BACKWARDS!!!
This is good. This is too good. Why must you be so good? lol I'm not into the whole 'tis thing, but apart from that i love it.
Here I am Sam! you happy now!? anyway I really like this like all of the other segments, but like I told you before, i'm getting kind of tired of all the romance. Time to get back to the plot! the romance is a nice sub-plot but you've had enough for right now you need more info about the plot. And if your going to have them be romantci like that, have it diffrent then then the time before. Its the same thing over and over again; Luke is nervous because he really does like Liberty but knows that it will never work and Liberty is caring and always touching him on the cheak and saying everything is allright etc.etc you know that I mean?
And I noticed you had some 'a's insted of 'I's but i'm to lazy to find them again.
Yay!
And it is supposed to read like a novel, tbr...
Thanks guys. Just someone reading it is great.
Like... it's really good and all... is this like a part of hourglass... are yo going to connect all of them sooner or later because this is really good.