The violin played a song that was so very familiar to her. Each note felt like home to her. If as every part of the melody took her through yet another secret place of her childhood. She remembered games and languages and dreams she had told no one about. Fairytales that had been all hers. It was stories she wanted to share, but never felt that anybody deserved to hear. They were all of a world she had created and kept secret for people who did not understand.
***
He stopped abruptly and put the instrument down. He felt a sting in the left side of his chest, and forced no longer himself to play for her. He hoped it was enough for her to understand,; that every note he played, was another piece of him. A note for the tear in his eyes, when his mother lay in her bed covered in bruises. A note for the pain of the belt. A note for his rootless teenage years. A note for being lost. A note for never being understood.
***
The music no longer played. She wished he would go on, because she wanted to keep holding on to imagination. But now she knew he understood. She looked into his eyes staring with passion at her. She smiled as she was overcome with gratitude. She had finally found someone worth sharing her playground of imagination with. They had found each other for they were both dreamers.
***
She had looked into his eyes with such strength. Her smiled had assured him, that everything was going to be all right. She saw that he could not go on playing the violin any longer. That it was too hard for him. She understood. After so long someone has finally found him. They had both survived, to share, and for once, celebrate life. They were here together in this moment for they were both fighters.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,852 Reviews
hello!!
That was b-e-a-utiful!!! I especially love the emotions both the characters connected to each other and the feeling of dreaming and remembering. It was sad but full of life! I really liked it how you have the "dreamer" thing and then at the end you have "fighters"--that gave me chills!!! not really, but yes. I really like how you make dreaming and fighting feel connected.
your style is a little choppy and slightly hard to follow, but the feel of the characters and the emotions made it so I honestly didn't care.
Thanks for making such a beautiful piece!!
--Pokit
Thank you:)
I'm a little worried though if people are getting what I tried to get across, I don't think I was clear enough
I was trying to show how people misunderstand each other and reflect their own feelings onto others action - the girl feels the music in one way and is convinced the boy is feeling the same and vice versa. 
Do you think I could change something to better get my message out? 
I'm a little worried though if people are getting what I tried to get across, I don't think I was clear enough
I was trying to show how people misunderstand each other and reflect their own feelings onto others action - the girl feels the music in one way and is convinced the boy is feeling the same and vice versa. 
Do you think I could change something to better get my message out? 
Good 1:00 a.m. to you, Emilie! The name is Storm, and I'll have the pleasure of reviewing for ya this morning!
Haha)
Nothing like a few nitpicks to start off a review, eh? (Don't roll your eyes; it's an essential factor to any edit.
1. "Each note felt like home to her. If as every part of the melody took her through yet another secret place of her childhood." These choppy sentences are honestly not the ideal start to any form of writing, because it pulls focus away from what you are saying when you constantly start. and. stop. Try something like this: "Each note resonated with memories of home to her, as if each melodic verse transported her to another hidden place found in childhood." Change it how you wish, but that's just a general idea.
2. "He stopped abruptly and put the instrument down. He felt a sting in the left side of his chest, and forced no longer himself to play for her." Once again, we run into a staggered thought. It's a little overdone.
3. Constantly, you seem to state the obvious. Instead of directly saying everything, reveal to the reader important information through descriptions, thoughts, or shared conversations between characters. The form in which you have decided to write this short grows very old very quickly, despite the short length.
4. Why do asterisks divide each paragraph? They each flow well enough together on their own, and the stars only lend to the divided nature of your work.
Overall, I must say that I am fond of the powerful emotional connections and storyline behind "The Violin", so attempt editing it by looking out for those multiple, repetitive fragments and simple sentences. Hone in on the feelings driving this short story onwards! Don't give up, Emilie, and as always: Write on!
---Stormsie
Ok, I very much like this. I'm assuming you have a strong personal connection to the violin? Some of the other reviewers have brought up some good points, a couple of sections need to have a more controlled use of powerful words and images. If you wanted to expand it into a longer story (it would be different of course because this story uses brevity quite well) then I would suggest using a piece of music that is important to you and create a thread that goes throughout the shifting perspectives. I've seen this done quite well with a story about the piano and Gymnopedies #1 . But really well done, I enjoyed reading it.
Hi there! Noelle here for a Review Day review!
There really isn't much I can say about this story. I think it's brilliant. I really love the way that the story switches from each perspective. It really helps the reader get inside of each character's heads. I really don't think that this would've worked as well if you had written it by just one character's perspective. The readers wouldn't have been able to tell the true meaning of the music to each characters.
I'm not sure if that last paragraph made any sense how that I read it back, but that's how I feel about it.
Since this is a short piece, the words had to be chosen carefully. There's only so much that you're able to say in this story. That being said, I think that you chose the right words. There really isn't any place that I felt like the flow was broken. The story read very well. I really like the connection between the two characters as well. I feel like they really connected through this experience, but at the same time it feels like they connected before this whole experience as well. It's like they're friends already, but are becoming closer friends because of this.
Overall, great job with this. I'm pretty sure I rambled throughout this review and didn't make much sense, but I wanted to share how much I love this story. Great job!
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
the Messenger Knight here to review for KotGR. Happy Review Day!
your first paragraph was lovely and I didn't see any problems.
This line read really awkwardly and jumbled. I think you should switch himself to right after forced. Your choice though.
You have a semicolon and comma mashed together here.
Oh, I love those lines! I never was even thinking about notes in that specific way, but I like it a lot.
so, I like having the small story divided into four sections, going back and forth from either point of view. I was a little confused by the ages of the two people though. That is the only thing that I didn't like. Sorry, I don't mean to make that sound like I don't like the story, I do!
Keep it up!
This is beautiful
You have great diction and I can almost feel the emotions from your characters. 
I really like the first paragraph. My favourite line is: "It was stories she wanted to share, but never felt that anyone deserved to hear." I don't know why I like it, I guess it just captures a lot of emotion in its brevity. Yet the first few words don't sound exactly right; I'm thinking it's the verb. "They were stories"?
Altogether I love this a lot and, even though it is incredibly short and I would like if you would explain a little bit more, I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for the review
You're welcome! I thoroughly enjoyed the story
Thank you, that means a lot:)