Reader's Guide to Middle School (Edit #2)

If you're reading this, you're either new to middle school, going to be heading to middle school soon or looking for entertainment. In any most cases, I can help you.

This is a full guide on tips and tricks to use in middle school. If you think you'll need help at school, read carefully. This can save your life. Metaphorically, but still.

#1 - Always carry a book or a binder in your hands.

This is extremely important. In the hallways, any student bigger than you is going to try to push past you. They're going to get uncomfortably close to you just to pass by. If you want to prevent this, you're going to need a shield. Sadly, the teachers don't hand out battle shields to their students, so you'll need the next best thing: a hardcover book or binder. Now, I'm not advising you to hit them over the head with this makeshift shield, because that would get you a nice spot in the principal's office. Just use it to protect yourself so they can't shove into your chest. Um, talk about awkward.

#2 - Don't be shy in the hallways or you're roadkill.

You want to get to class on time, right? You can't just let everyone pass you and say "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" every time someone bumps into you. They don't say it to you, do they? So be a little forceful. Don't kill everyone in your way, but developing a thick skin wouldn't hurt you. Don't apologize and let them pass you every time. It's okay to get a tiny bit pushy. Not mean, just pushy.

#3 - EXTRA CREDIT!

I don't care if you have a 100% A+ in every class. Always get those extra-credit points. Why, you ask? Anything at any time can hurt your grades. A pop quiz, a few missed questions, something you lost, late work, anything of the sort. And you never know when something like that might happen and you lose points. Always drink up the extra credit so you don't lose as many points. It doesn't matter if you miss extra credit assignments, because it won't hurt your grade. What's not to love? Oh, right. Having extra work to do. No matter, it helps.

#4 - Study hall is your metaphorical best friend.

Study hall (what my school calls it; some other schools have different names for it but basically it's just a free period to work on homework, projects, go to the library, etc.) is a huge help if you know how to use it right. Wielding the power of the study hall period is easy once you learn what to do - and what not to do. For example, checking to make sure you have certain homework assignments done is something that is good to do. Saving all of your homework for that one small period is not good. You never know how long certain things might take. My trick is to check what you have to do on an assignment, and if it requires something you have only at home, do it at home. If it does not require anything special, and you have made sure with your schedule that it is from a class after your study hall, then blast it off until then. Also, if you have no silent reading book, library passes are tickets to freedom.

#5 - Partner projects are almost-certain doom unless you know that person well.

Why, you may be asking? I'll tell you. I personally hate partner projects because of this very reason: if the person you're partnered with is - I'm going to put this up straightforwardly, but I mean no offense to anyone - not as advanced as you are, they could do a bad job on their part of the project. Then you either have to fix it, or take a bad grade because of what your partner did. And if you resort to fixing the mistakes, what if your partner gets angry at you because you're "bossy"? What are you supposed to do, tie them up in your basement until the project is done? No, just ask your teacher if you can do your project alone. 8/10 times they'll say yes, and if they tell you no, just pick someone wisely (if you can pick your partner). Wait, there's more. What if your teacher is one of "those teachers" who decides to make life hard by assigning your partner for you? No sweat. I have a solution. Wait a little while first to see how your partner does. Then, if you want nothing to do with them (still, no offense), go visit your teacher when they aren't busy. Explain using the kindest terms you can muster that you and your partner don't get along well enough to participate to the fullest in the project. For the well-being of both your and their class grades, you think you should be re-assigned or work alone. For the safety of your grades, do not let go of the subject if they tell you to "work through your problems with your partner alone". The easiest way to get out of it even if they say that is to say that you've tried. Tell your teacher you and your partner have a history of fall-outs or disagreements. Say that you and your partner share another class in your schedule in which you had a similar type of assignment with them and it was a disaster. Best of luck with their reply.

#6 - Locker problems? Been there, had those.

Is your locker antagonizing you? Most of the kids in the school have trouble with their locker combinations at the beginning of the year. All it takes, first of all, is practice. Before the year starts, spend time practicing opening your locker. If you don't have time, try quickly opening it after school. If you just have no time to practice, remember this: The first thing you do is reset your lock. That is, just randomly roll it around a few times. Stop at zero just to be even because trust me, that helps. Then, move the lock over to the left to your first number. Then go right until you pass the next number, then keep moving right until you reach it again. Stop on the second number. Then move left until you reach your last number, stopping on that number. Be sure to be extremely careful and precise, because your lock might be touchy. Then open your lock. Simple as that! Eheh, kind of.

#7 - Lunchtime, a problem in itself.

Got nowhere to sit? No circle of friends to melt into at lunch? I was like that once. This is your simple solution. You've got to get there fast, first of all. This ensures you've still got vacated areas on tables. Find a random spot with a wide berth of empty seats surrounding it. Stare daggers at anyone who comes close to your table that you don't know, and make sure only people you feel comfortable with sit with you. If anyone sits at your table that is unwanted, either ignore them, make your getaway to a new vacated area, or give them the Evil Death-Stare to the Second Power. Make your face progressively fierce and uncomfortable as the moments go by. With luck, they'll take the hint and move spots. If they don't, see above.  For this solution, you might want to have a mirror somewhere at home or in a bathroom to practice your evil death-stare and Evil Death-Stare to the Second Power. If you try for a while and this doesn't work, find a way to be in the library during lunch. That's always an amazing alternative until you find somewhere to sit.

#8 - How to know what clothes are in style

Um, why do you care what's "in style"? Make your own style "in style" for you. Dress up all black and skull-covered if that's what you're into. Don't let anyone tell you something like "Ugh, that shirt is not in; haven't you heard? Tunics with cardigans and leggings are what's safe to wear. Just don't copy my outfit, loser." No one wants to hear that, so why does everyone listen?

Got any other questions?

I can't be too thorough if I don't know what you particularly need, but if you have any other questions or just fun things you want me to answer to, put them down in your reviews and comments and I'll try to get to them as fast (and witty) as I can.

Thanks for reading, and - of course - good luck in middle school. Or high school, for that matter. And for you elementary-schoolers who are heading into middle school soon... Enjoy fifth grade. You may think it's terrible, but all the glory of middle school is fake. It's worse, trust me. You're going to need my help if you're going to survive.