Hey!
Very interesting, and haunting. It sounds almost like a prophecy, or something.
I also really liked your rhyming pattern; it was simple, but it propelled the piece along very nicely.
The only thing I found confusing was the first line, which stumped me for a while. The wording was just a little awkward, I think. It's a little syntax-y, and it might just be me... I think it's because "returning" is an action your perform yourself, it's not done to you. You know what I mean?
I returned from school, Imhotep returned from the dead, etc.
I think that's where it gets confusing, since someone can't really return someone else from the dead- you would say that they raised or brought him back from the dead. However, it might just be me, and in any case, this is just a suggestion.
Overall, though, I really liked (especially the ending.) Very nice. Keep up the good work! 
Points: 1648
Reviews: 27
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