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141,380 Literary Works • 674,384 Reviews
Hey!
Very interesting, and haunting. It sounds almost like a prophecy, or something.
I also really liked your rhyming pattern; it was simple, but it propelled the piece along very nicely.
The only thing I found confusing was the first line, which stumped me for a while. The wording was just a little awkward, I think. It's a little syntax-y, and it might just be me... I think it's because "returning" is an action your perform yourself, it's not done to you. You know what I mean?
I returned from school, Imhotep returned from the dead, etc.
I think that's where it gets confusing, since someone can't really return someone else from the dead- you would say that they raised or brought him back from the dead. However, it might just be me, and in any case, this is just a suggestion.
Overall, though, I really liked (especially the ending.) Very nice. Keep up the good work!
Hi
thanx for the review. Frankly speaking, the very first version was "Do not bring me back from the dead" 
I changed it later because of the rhyme. 
Thanx again
Oh, but still I can use "raise"!!! THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANX!!!!!
)))))))))))))))