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Hello Merry!

You don't know how happy I was when I saw this! I wish that I had made some tea. I always review better when I have something hot to drink but oh well.

“Milady. We're stopping for a bit.” Lifting my drowsy eyes, I saw the doorman open the carriage door. With his strong, English accent, I had woken from my peaceful slumber. “Sorry to have awaken you. The horses need to rest for a few minutes.”

I rather like this beginning, but I think you can do without the underlined part. It seems a bit redundant, is all.

“Very well.” I peered my head out of the carriage door and saw vast acres of green land and farms. “How far are we from Hadley Estate?” I asked, wanting know.

The underlined bit can be nixed.

I liked this! But everything seems to be going a rather too quickly. Maybe some more descriptions and facial expressions and not all the dialogue has to be followed with the occasional "I said, I asked, she asked, she said, he said etc." But speaking of which, the dialogue is believable and I desperately want to know of this Simon Payne.

Please keep writing and PM me when you post more.

~Angel