Growing up feels like throwing yourself on your bed,
Sobbing, wishing that someone would come and find you.
When I was little, I would pretend to fall asleep in the car,
Because it is the only way that I could be touched by my mother,
Without asking for affection.
Sometimes, I keep crying, even when I have no more tears,
Because I want someone to find me hurting.
I leave the door unlocked and my windows open,
Wishing that, for a moment, someone would notice me.
I feel like an actor in my own body, desperate to be seen,
Because when I am with others, I am invisible.
As I get older, I seem to disappear a little more every day,
The noises of the world get louder, colorless connections disappear,
The pain increases with every step, and the sharp stings blind me.
Sometimes, the only hand I hold is my own.
And still, I throw myself into bed, tucking myself in,
Hoping that I am lost and will someday be found.
**Title taken from 'The Little Prince' and this is part of my 2025 NaPo collection!!
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,768 Reviews
Hello, My Friend!
Hi Ellie, I hope your day/night has been well thus far! I was scrolling older works of the Green Room and happened across this lovely poem, and hoped to give it the attention it deserves with a quick review. I hope you don't mind!
To start, this poem was amazing, and I love that it was inspired by The Little Prince! It feels like this poem is speaking to that lonely feeling of adulthood, where it seems with each year, you lose sympathy and are expected more and more to "grow up" and pick yourself up on your own. And wrapping in that experience as a child searching for not just attention but affection, was such a sorrowful, personal, yet beautiful detail.
*ahem* As far as a technical review goes, I have no complaints! At least to me, this is amazing as-is.
Favorite lines and parts, I would have to say...
The way you open this poem with such a specific, meaningful, yet honestly relatable comparison immediately caught my attention!
This was a very interesting allegory to have made for this poem. Because, "doors unlocked and windows open" inherently spells danger. Much like, perhaps, looking for affection/attention in the wrong places...
This is amazing, the way you describe this feeling! I love that phrase especially, "noises of the world." It makes me imagine not just the humdrum of a busy, stressful life in adulthood, but that black-and-white noise and static you see on TVs. Bleak, colorless, in a way the "waste product" of the real images...But of course, that's just me, sorry if I sound ramble-ey here.
Overall, this was such a great poem, I'm glad I was able to discover it. Thank you for sharing this, and nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
This poem is a sad, yet necessary reminder that our childhood wounds remain with us decades after they were made. I loved how you described what we all wanted in our childhood in such a beautiful way; to be found. To be found is to be taken care of, to matter, to be seen, and to be heard. Unfortunately, even the closest people in our lives cannot see that sometimes. They are so preoccupied with themselves and what they want to do that they ultimately lose sight of us and we become lost... We cry out for help and they indeed hear us, but they don't listen. They don't wish to do what it takes as it means that they will end up changed and they ultimately don't want to change. Even if it means that they'll find you. Lines 12-14 truly put into words what happens when we are never found. We start to disappear from the world and it starts to manifest physically through pain and anguish. We don't want to disappear. We're not meant to disappear... I truly understand where you are coming from with this poem and I, at one point, struggled with this feeling. Something that helped me was realizing that no one was coming to save me and that I had to find and guide myself back into the world. I had to be my own hero. Once I started doing that, I started growing into my true self and opening myself up to the world again. I started to heal and not be in as much pain as I used to be. I embrace every experience with a human being even if it doesn't lead to the deep connection that I would want. I have that deep connection within myself and that is more than enough. If I find others who want to cultivate that deep connection with me, I welcome it, yet I am not dependent on it. I'm sorry for such a long rant, but I just wanted to help as I understand what it's like to be in such a dangerous position. You do matter. You are loved. You are important. You are not alone. These are facts that remain true even when you don't feel like they are true. You are a talented writer and I enjoyed reading this. I hope you find solace and peace soon.
P.S. I wanted to let you know that Line 4 would be: "Because it *was* the only way that I could be touched by my mother" since it takes place in the past.
reminding myself to review this later
I love the premise