Published May 7, 2013
They said I was free
Escaped from my room
The newspapers blared
the wonderful news
The girl who got out
The girl who came back
But I am my prison
I am the clock
-
You grabbed me fast
by my charcoal school skirt
My scream compressed
by his rock solid hands
It lumped in my throat
A gobstopper.
The bricks of my prison
laid down on the floor
Down the steep steps
Along the dark passage
That was the place
where the pain was planted
I cried out,
my head in the dirty sink
Your sharp nails scraping,
clenched to my throat
You sellotaped your limbs
to mine and lay there
I was still.
The kind of fear
you cannot feel
No words can capture
that terror
I forgot what it felt like
to not be in pain
But I loved you
The part of me
that was dressed in nothing
That empty soul wandered
the cold basement
Counting days
a hollow stomach
a hollow heart
The knife under your bed;
to make my own pain
Bleeding my arms
before you could
My bruised face was me
My only reality
You sat and shaved my head
and called me ‘baby’.
Slavery was my only trade
My only possession
-
At dinner time the men broke in.
I was bare
They snatched at my limbs
and dragged me out
Three thousand days
Of not a single window
Ransom not paid
Here I sit
I’m alone again
And I miss you.
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141,293 Literary Works • 674,334 Reviews
EllieArden;
My! Very impressive if I do say so. There may have been a few awkward lines like: "I am the clock" and "And I miss you." But they looked intentional in a way to kind of set aside their importance and get them noticed. I like it.
My favorite lines had to be:
"You sat and shaved my head
and called me ‘baby’.
Slavery was my only trade
My only possession"
Those were definitly 'icing-on-the-cake' lines (what I like to call them). They were the kind of lines that you just mentally shriek like a little girl. Loved it. And the way you made your poem blocked into that one big stanza in the middle gave me that feeling of holding my breath and not letting go until I read the whole thing - which worked awesomly in your favor. And, also, I'd like to point out how smoothly I read through those lines. Just Excellent.
Absolutly Stunning.
Oh wow, this is such a captivating piece! Its brilliant, so raw and real! Just, oh wow! YOu can really feal the bare human emotion in this piece!
"At dinner time the men broke in.
I was bare
They snatched at my limbs
and dragged me out
Three thousand days
Of not a single window
Ransom not paid
Here I sit
I’m alone again
And I miss you."
Its so raw and powerful!
A truely fantstic piece!
Congradulations
~Roxy