Secrets of Suburbia: Skeletons, Addiction & Betrayal (CHAPTER 5)

Chapter 5: The Meaning of Trust

Nathan

"I just don't get it, Mark... We used to be so close... Now, she pushes me away... and hides whenever I want to... talk to her," I grunted with each blow I delivered to the punching bag.

Spending a few hours at the local gym once a week was a great way to relieve stress at the end of a long day.

Lately, it seemed as though keeping an eye on my daughter was getting beyond my control, and I couldn't monitor her as closely as I wanted to. Initiating a conversation with her was like speaking to a brick wall, and she usually retreated to her bedroom the moment she returned from school or cheerleading practice. 

What was she hiding?

The thought of the unknown caused my mind to conjure up images of the possible things she could have been doing behind my back.

"Let's face it, she's a girl," Mark said. "Correction: a teenaged girl. Once they hit those years there's no stopping the kind of things they'll keep from you, and it's only natural that they just want their privacy. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're doing bad things."

Mark, my co-worker and one of my newest friends at the company, had no children of his own. I admired his understanding of teenagers and how they dealt with such an exciting and treacherous time in their young lives. 

However, I only trusted my own instincts when it came to my daughter. She would never hide anything from me. She couldn't. 

"I know she's not doing anything wrong. But I've seen the way those young boys gawk at her during cheerleading competitions or school games. They get all excited and tingly, and they don't know what to do with themselves so they start doing stupid things that they don't understand... Believe me, I've been there."

"That may be true, but if you don't think that you can trust her to be unsupervised for just one second then maybe you're not doing a good job teaching her," Mark replied frankly.

I knew that he was just trying to help me understand that Leah deserved to be trusted, and perhaps his method was the best type of motivation there was. 

"I could try. As long as she doesn't get me with those wide, blue eyes. And those lips... She's just like her mother," I chuckled to myself.

After spending another half-hour completing boxing drills, we moved onto the weight area to do bench presses. While Mark spotted me from above, I hoped to beat my previous weight record of 215 pounds by challenging myself even further.

When I used to play football in high school, my coach always told us that giving up on a challenge was like giving up on life. My parents also reminded me that it was essential for me to put my entire heart and soul in whatever I did, and their words never faded from my thoughts from then on.

Protecting my daughter was something I intended to do wholeheartedly. There was nothing that would stop me. My word was my law.

Later that evening, I returned home to find my wife and daughter chatting and laughing on the couch.

"Hey, girls. What are you two giggling about?" I asked them.

Simultaneously, their heads spun around towards the foyer and Victoria flashed me a wide grin. Leah's smile, on the other hand, slowly faded. Her features became unreadable.

"There's my strong, sexy man. We were starting to think that you wouldn't come home," my wife said before pecking my cheek.

Turning my attention towards Leah, I grinned and said, "How was your day, Beautiful?"

Without a word, Leah slowly rose from the couch and strode away to climb the staircase.

"Leah, why won't you talk to me? Come back, Angel."

Unfortunately, my desperate plea was not enough to convince her to stay, and she hesitated as she approached the stairs.

"Um, maybe tomorrow. I-I've got homework to do and it's going to take me all night to finish," she stammered.

Once she rushed up the stairs to her bedroom, I shook my head in confusion and sat beside my wife with a sigh.

"Please tell me what I'm doing wrong? Because I honestly don't know what's bothering her."

Lending silent support, Victoria began to massage my shoulders in hopes that she could ease the tension in my fatigued muscles.

"She wants her space, Nathan. You can't expect her to recite every detail of her day if it's not something she's comfortable with... Give her some time, okay? I'm sure she'll come around," she gently reassured me.

"But what does she have to be uncomfortable about? I'm her father. If it's extremely personal, I won't judge her."

"That's very true. Just consider all the restrictions you give for, say for instance, interacting with the opposite sex. Every male who approaches her won't necessarily have intentions of hurting her. What if she meets a boy in her class who just wants to get to know her—"

"Whoa, Vicki. Of course I have to give her restrictions, especially for that reason. We all know that the male species doesn't just want to 'get to know' a girl. They will always want something more," I argued.

"Do you know how crazy you sound right now? Forget I mentioned that, okay? I'm just trying to tell you that she shouldn't have to tell you everything that goes on in her life, bad or not." 

"How can I just forget about something like that? Leah has to tell me what's going on. You know what? This secrecy needs to end tonight. I'm going up there right now and I'm not coming back until she talks to me."

As I rose from the couch to head to Leah's bedroom, Victoria quickly pulled me back and looked deep into my eyes.

"Nate, stop it, okay? Don't you trust her? She's not a baby. She knows right from wrong... What the hell do you want from her?"

"I want her to trust me!"

Suddenly, a quiet creak from the staircase caught our attentions. 

Standing at the end of the hallway was Leah, who trembled with anger as she steadily approached me.

"Do you know why I can't trust you, Papa? It's because you treat me like I'm some kind of delicate flower. I can't believe that you don't trust me enough to make decisions for myself, and maybe it isn't obvious to you but it's damaging to my self-esteem. You make me feel like I'm too stupid to know the difference between right and wrong! Please, just... stop controlling my life! I want my freedom, and you're only driving me further away. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect child you wanted."

My heart crumbled at her response. How could my own daughter think that I preferred a different child than her? Was I truly responsible for lowering her self-esteem, for hurting her? 

If my parenting was bringing us closer to separation, then I had to convince her that I loved her too much to abandon her during such a critical period in her life.

"No, Leah. I never wanted a perfect child. I wanted a normal child. I wanted a child that I could love and protect and make memories with for the rest of my life. Losing you forever is my worst fear, and when I held you in my arms for the first time, I promised you that I would protect you no matter what. There are plenty of kids whose parents wouldn't give them the time of day, and I can't imagine ever doing that to you. All the sacrifices we've made for you were out of love. If we didn't love you as much as we do, you would probably be out in the streets by yourself doing things that could put your life in danger. I love you, Leah. We both love you. Do you understand that?"

Her features softened in realization, possibly because she came to the conclusion that I was right.

Without a word, Leah crashed into me and embraced me with all the strength she had.

"Yes, Daddy. I know... I just want to fit in for once," she murmured despondently.

"It's hard to feel like you belong, Angel. I understand. But, sometimes, you can end up in a dangerous situation if you try to do what everyone else is doing. The truth is, people will always criticize whatever you do in life. If you choose to let their opinions take control of you, then you'll never be content with yourself. You don't have to satisfy anyone else but yourself. You're a strong, beautiful, and intelligent little girl and I just want you to be happy," I told my daughter.

"Okay, Daddy... I'm sorry for what I said," Leah replied guiltily.

I pulled her closer and swiped the hair away from her eyes.

"Oh, no, Angel. Never feel guilty about what your heart is feeling. If there's ever anything on your mind that you just want to get out in the open, don't hesitate to tell me. I'm your father. It's my job to be here for you."

"I love you," she sniffled.

"I love you, too... Always."

My daughter and I remained locked in that embrace until I thought the world had faded around us. My wife also grew emotional watching us, and quickly joined in on our union.

That evening, I realized that my daughter knew more than I expected of her. Perhaps she finally understood my reason for giving her so many restrictions. I wanted her to know that as she became a teenager, she would not be invincible. 

If I could somehow learn to trust both my instincts and my daughter's instincts, then I'd know that I was doing a great job raising her. 

~WYLS~

"This is unbelievable... How am I going to tell him?" I murmured to myself after placing the phone on the kitchen counter.

I was rendered speechless moments after I received shocking news from the Pérez family that forever changed our relationship with them.

Once Leah returned from school that afternoon, I decided not to tell her until Nathan made it home from work. He would not want to find out before his daughter given the circumstances. First, however, I had to muster the courage to tell him myself. As his wife, I knew that he never took well to news of such caliber.

Nathan seemed very cheerful as he stepped into the foyer that afternoon, and I felt guilty knowing that I would put an end to his bliss in a matter of seconds.

He craned his neck to kiss me, without noticing that my body was stiff with tension. It was not until he pulled away that he realized that I was hesitating to tell him something.

"What's the matter, Vicki? Did something happen? And don't lie to me. I know you're hiding something," he said sternly.

Instead of veering off topic to yell at him for treating me like a child, I reached out and cupped his face to prepare him for what I was going to say.

"Please, please do not overreact, for Leah's sake. She doesn't know yet, so I think it would be best if I told you first and then we both tell her. Promise me you'll keep your cool?"

Nathan never made promises about the way he handled his emotions, especially when it came to our daughter.

He only responded with a bleak, "I'll try..."

"I just got off the phone with Mr. Pérez and he is beyond distraught. I don't blame him, either," I said.

"Just tell me, Victoria. What happened?" Nathan urged, gently gripping my shoulders.

"Around 2:00 in the morning, Mr. Pérez got home and went on his office computer only to find a video of his daughter having sex with not just one, but two boys at least four years older than her, on a pornography website. Grown men! One of the guys taped it and uploaded it to the Internet trying to pass Jenny off as 18 years old. He said that she looked like she knew what she was doing. And that's not all. He realized that they did it on his own bed! He didn't watch the entire video. It was over an hour long, but he pointed out the fact that the video had been uploaded the morning Leah came back sick from the sleepover, which means that Jenny was having sex with those men while our daughter was sleeping three rooms away!"

Nathan had heard enough. A sharp exhale blew through his nose as he made a brisk advance towards the staircase.

"This is why I can't trust anyone... Bullshit," he murmured to himself as I tried to keep up with him.

I had never seen my husband so angry. It almost terrified me how much control he'd lost over his emotions.

As he burst through our daughter's bedroom door, her shoulders jumped in fright and she placed her palm over her chest.

"My God, you scared me, Papa—"

"I don't want ever want to see you with that Jenny girl again! Do you hear me, young lady?"

"Nathan, don't just pounce on her like that!" I quickly intervened, pushing his pointed finger away from her face.

Meanwhile, Leah looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

"What happened? What did I do?"

"Nothing, honey. Your father is just upset because, well, we found out today that your friend Jenny—"

"Ex-friend," Nathan huffed.

"Nathan, please... We found out that Jenny was having sex in her father's bedroom on the night you were sleeping at her house. One of the two boys she slept with took a video of it and put it on the internet. Mr. Pérez found the video after she used his computer and forgot to get rid of the link. He and his wife are extremely upset by all of this. Those men were almost twenty years old and they knew that she was only fifteen. And because your father charged up here ready to lock you up in this house for good, I almost forgot to mention that they also found out that Jenny is pregnant. After they spoke to her, she admitted to having sex with close to ten boys over the course of a few months most of which were eighteen or older. Did you suspect at all that any of this was going on? Has she ever told you about her encounters?"

Undoubtedly stunned, Leah did not respond, but hesitated with a guilty glance to the floor.

"Don't worry. You won't get in trouble. We just want to know the truth," I reassured her, and cast a warning gaze in my husband's direction in case he already had his mind set on grounding her.

"Yes... A few times. Listening to some of those stories was embarrassing, but I never told you because I knew what you were going to say. She's my only best friend."

Self-consciously, Leah wrapped her arms around herself and began to sob.

"I'm sorry, Papa. I know you must be so angry with me for being with someone like that. I know I shouldn't associate with her, but she's one of the few people who actually understands me besides Mama," she sniffled.

"As much as it means to you to have Jenny in your life, we don't want you to hang out with someone who's dishonest. None of us had no idea that Jenny was leading a double life, and we just think that it's best for you to break off your relationship with her to prevent you from following what she's been doing. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, Papa."

Leah only gazed at him for a fleeting second, smiled and looked back to the floor. She was still upset with her father after he yelled at her. Nathan realized how he had spoken to her as well.

"I am sorry if I frightened you in any way. It was my fault for overreacting when your mother first told me. These types of things just make my blood boil because I can't imagine my own daughter keeping secrets from me and taking part in things that lower your self-worth. And men are so eager to take advantage of these young girls that they will do anything to get what they want. I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you and we found out that you were hiding a whole other life from us. Jenny put her life in jeopardy by choosing to go behind her parents' backs."

"What about the guys?"

"Well, because Jenny is a minor, the men who took the video were identified and were charged for creating and sharing child pornography as well as aggravated statutory rape. Mr. Pérez has taken his daughter out of public school and her mother will now be homeschooling her. This is a very serious situation, and we want you to know just how careful you have to be when deciding to become friends with someone. They might seem like a very caring person, but you can never be certain that they're completely upright."

"We raised you to do the right thing and trust your instincts, especially in the way I taught you. We want to know that our hard work is paying off, but just in case, you're going to have to open up to me more. I need to know what's going on, and if I ever find out that you're not being honest with me, you will suffer the consequences."

A sudden chill crept up my spine at the way my husband's voice darkened. I was used to him speaking to our daughter in a firm manner, but even I did not like the way he sounded. Perhaps the turn of events made him on-edge and he thought that speaking to Leah with a threatening tone was going to scare her into obeying him.

Still, it did not sound like the Nathan I knew...