z

Young Writers Society


12+

Look, Look What We Can Do

by ElizabethEnder1952


Look, look how we can burn the skies;

Look at the colors, look at the lights.

Look how we can paint

Tapestries of smoke and lies.

-

Look, look how we can make the children scream;

Look at the blood, look at the fear!

Look how we can make them sing

To the school siren's ring.

-

Look, look up and around,

The smoke in the sky, the fire on the ground.

Look at the light, look at what we have made!

A New Years love, a New Years bay.

-

Look, look at the people.

The broken people.

The Murdered, the Murderer,

The Dreamer, the Shooter. 

-

Look, look at them laugh.

Look at walls, look at the traps.

Look at the families

Pulled, chained to different maps.

-

Look, look at the fire,

The melting ice,

The dying children,

The tampered mice.

-

Look, Look, Look what we can do!

Look at the bombs and the cities!

Look at the buildings fall! The world shake!

Look at our glory! Look at our guns!

-

Look, Look, what we can do!

Look at our law, our land!

Look at our paradise!

Look at our world.

-

Look, look what we can do.


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142 Reviews


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Wed Jan 15, 2020 10:29 pm
looseleaf wrote a review...



**My Thoughts**

Hey! LZ here with a review! I liked the poem. The theme (or should I say plot?) was very unique!

**Formatting and Grammar**

I liked the formatting! It was very simple, yet nice. I liked how you used dashes to separate the stanzas, which were all four lines! I did like the last line, too.

**Punctuation and Capitalization**

I did notice one thing in capitalization. In the first line of the last stanza, you capitalize both "look"s. In earlier lines, you didn't. Why?

**Stanzas and Meaning**

Alright, let's do this. I have a lot to say. At first, I thought this was about school shootings. Then I thought it was about the immigration/immigrant camp issue thing in the United States. Then I thought it was about terrorism. Rereading this, I think it's about all of these topics.

To me, this poem is about power. People wanting power, hurting innocent people. It's a very serious subject and you portrayed it very well in this poem. One part of a stanza didn't make sense to me.

Look at the families Pulled, chained to different maps.


I have an idea of what this means, but I'm not sure. Is this about people taking children away from their parents?

**Quick Review**

Great poem, hard and very serious subject!

Keep on writing and have a very good 2020!

~LZ




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Sun Jan 12, 2020 5:10 am
tgham99 wrote a review...



Hey there! I just left a reply to your welcome post so I figured I'd drop by and leave a review on your poem here :)

I'll start off by saying that I like the repetition of the word "look", because it clearly emphasizes the idea of showing off that is tied into your underlying theme of putting different concepts on "display". I particularly like that the poem ends with a one-liner that also serves as the title of the piece; it's a great way of tying everything together.

I do want to ask whether or not you intentionally capitalized the L in "look" in the last couple of stanzas; it comes across as unintentional because you left the word uncapitalized. Just a small thing that I wanted to point out in case it was more of a grammar mistake than a poetic decision.

The general theme of the poem is clear, but I had a hard time tying all of the stanzas together; the way you use powerful imagery ("Look at the buildings fall! The world shake!") gives off this sense of hypocritical showmanship which is incredibly interesting and effective in terms of emphasizing your meaning. The only real confusion I felt was when reading these lines in the second stanza:

"Look, look how we can make the children scream;

Look at the blood, look at the fear!"

I'm not sure what this meant in relation to the rest of the lines in the stanza, but I could just be misunderstanding/not reading well enough into it.

As a whole this is a very interesting and powerful poem and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!! Great job!!






Hi! Thanks for the review!




We do have funerals for the living. They're called birthday parties.
— Jill Biden (fictitiously), Hope Never Dies