This is some poetic blabber that I came up with while reading Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. I hope you enjoy, even if you haven’t read the book… if you haven’t then I urge you should. Although I think I’m the only person in the entire class who is reading this and likes it. Anyway, it’s short, I will strongly work on it, and I know I need a strong plot to follow by. So if you have read this or not, I would like some advice.
Oh, and some quick facts:
Jurgis (Yoor-gus): Main character, struggling, has been through a lot since coming to America from Lithuania
Ona: Jurgis’s late wife
Antenes: Jurgis’s son
The American dream isn’t a dream
The night that Ona left the world
The night the baby never saw
The day Antenes drowned
You shed not a tear for their losses
You were too weak
That is when the nightmare began
Jurgis, where have you gone?
After all that has happened to you
After all that life has put you through
Why?
Why do you leave your family?
Marija has restarted work in the factories
Elzbieta begs in the streets with the children
Why do you leave them alone?
The scandals of life have gripped you
And you were released from them when you left,
When you snuck on the train and traveled
Not knowing or caring where you ended up,
And left behind Packingtown, your family
Yourself
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well, this was a rather awkward poem, though the ending was really good. but announcing your characters before hand... -
maybe it would've been better if you explained more by just fitting the life scenerio into the poem, it would've sounded much better. i don't think your point in poetry should be to tell the stories, but to tell the feelings. that's just my personal opinion though, which is already half wrong in narrative poetry. =]
good job, though. really. just a suggestion.
the last stanza was the part where it really started to turn around i really liked it. write more like that haha. well, if you want to, of course.