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Life in Pink

by Elinor


AN: This song is a key element of my novel, All Our Yesterdays, and supposed to have been written by Cole Hargrove, my male lead. I did NaPo in his voice last year, and here's a short bio of him from my official website, and a link to his Pinterest page. This context is important because I'm not writing as myself, I'm writing within the voice of someone who's not like me. I also have no musical brain, so I don't have a sense of how to make this a song or even if it could be one. 

Cole Hargrove is Marcy's love interest. We first meet him as a twenty-year-old aspiring singer-songwriter from a working-class Queens family. As he secures what gigs he can and dreams of something more, he and Marcy cross paths, and there's an instant spark. As he'll soon learn, the universe has greater plans in store for him and his music.

So, all this in mind, please give me any and all critiques. 

-

Once upon a time

The world was all in black, white and gray

Until I met her on a summer day.

Her, so beautiful, the picture of perfection

Her pink dress shining in the sun

A princess from a world gone by

A storybook dream

Painting everything pink.
Painting everything pink.

They said rose-tinted glasses were always bad

But I don't agree

Pink is the color of love

of cotton candy and her kiss

everything that makes life sweet.

Never again black, white and gray

Life in pink is how it will always stay

Life in pink every day.


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Points: 188
Reviews: 2

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Wed Jan 10, 2024 2:56 pm
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RickBarooah wrote a review...



Hey, good poem. I like the way it rhymes; the words fit quite well together :)

This poem has great potential and I think it'll become a great poetic piece after putting more thought into it. I'm not saying that you haven't thought about it; don't take it as an offence. I'm trying to say, you could put some more feelings into this poem.

The poem centres around just one small thought. Maybe you could describe her more, or add more colours in the poem.

All the best.




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907 Reviews

Points: 176
Reviews: 907

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Wed Jan 10, 2024 1:14 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the review?

Top Graham Cracker - This is a song that Cole made about Marcy, showing how he feels about her and his deep love for her.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I’m not by any means a professional musician/singer, but I think that maybe the word “white” should have a comma after it. You don’t have to listen to this, though.

Chocolate Bar - I like that Cole used pink imagery! It’s important for the song, I know, but it just gives me sweet, sugary feelings and makes me think of the 2023 Barbie movie. I like it! :>

Closing Graham Cracker - A short yet cute song about Marcy. It shows how much Cole loves her and how he sees that she’s a beautiful person in his life. I’ve enjoyed reading this.

I wish you a fantastic day/night!





The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitudes.
— Viktor Frankl