Hello
fortis here to do a review. (Pleas igonore how obvious that is)
This was a very interesting poem. You had some nice sensory details such as "fur-covered boxing gloves" and "it is like the sound of confetti falling onto the snow." I especially liked the part about Starbucks. It put a modern spin on this.
One thing I did not like was the spelling and the layout with all of these slashes. I don't know if you were doing this on a phone or something, but if I were you, I'd get to a computer and change it. It makes it look trashy and half-thought-out. I don't get why you did it. The subject doesn't appear to me to be about anything that would call for such grammar/language. I know you can write better than this, but I am reminded of something some angsty teen who *thought* they could write poetry but really couldn't would write.
I don't really understand a lot of what you were trying to say. I was too distracted by all the grammar issues, I'm sorry to say, and the deeper meaning was lost on me. I have no idea what you were trying to get across.
Good luck on your future writing exploits!
~Fortis
Points: 4984
Reviews: 621
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