I can gaze into the mirror
For hours, each and every day,
Trying to tell her she’s beautiful,
But the words just stay locked away.
Behind the barrier
Of self-esteem so low,
Locks forged of lies,
I wonder: how can she not know?
How I wish she would believe
In what they’re trying to say,
It’s the truth, not just a nicety
Cause they want her to stay.
She thinks they want something more
Than what she truly is inside,
So convinced she’s not worthy,
She tries to run and hide.
If I hide forever,
No one will ever get the chance to say,
What I don’t need to hear cause
I’m feeling it, all the time, and every day.
I don’t need confirmation
So they won’t even know,
They think I’m happy and I’m glad
But I’m so alone.
You can’t call them ignorant
And you can’t say they’re blind
Cause they really don’t know,
There’s a way to a better life.
They may be vanity free and
It could be said they’ve got one less sin,
To carry around with them but they really don’t know
They’ve got the right to feel beautiful and that’s something,
That just doesn’t seem quite right.
Someone should change this,
Someone should let them know
That it’s a right not a privilege.
To feel confidence,
And be happy to walk ahead on your own
Because the others aren’t far behind,
They’re never gonna leave you alone.
Such a sad story to hear,
Such a sad story to know,
Such a sad story to be living in,
So even though,
You don’t know her,
Help her to escape,
Tell her the truth,
Tell her she’s beautiful in every way.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Awww.....*starts to cry* that is such a beautiful peice....and*sniffs and wipes eyes* so sad.....I found nothing wrong with it because I thought it was beautiful in every way.
That was really sad, especially seeing as, I think, most people can probably relate to the narrator in the second stanza. I certainly can, anyway.
I can't see much to criticise, but I think you may want to change your abbreviations of "because". They should be "'cause", that is, with an apostrophe at the beginning, otherwise it is unclear what you mean. You could also be informal and say "cos", but I'm not sure if that would be appropriate.