I walk waiting for my chance to spring, to attack
The yellow school bus pulls up to the stop
My mind becomes frantic with images of what is about to transpire
My need becoming an urgent demand
She steps off
The little girl, with a red bow in her blonde hair
Her red dress made to look like little riding hood
I let my feet carry me towards her as she takes the path through the woods to her house
Little Red Riding Hood indeed, Me the Big Bad Wolf
I let my eyes roam taking in the tender white-flesh of her legs in her white panty hose
She's singing a song from The Little Mermaid
Her voice setting my blood on fire
I pounce
Never giving her time to scream
I smile as she lays there trying to make her small, tiny fists cause me harm
I let her feel me by sitting on her right where I need her the most
She cries out and bites me, afraid of my hardness
I see her tears dropping from the corners of her eyes
Dropping down to the dirt floor beneath her
Like the leafs falling from the trees onto the forest ground
I pluck the sticks out of her hair
Bend down to take a tear into my mouth
The taste of her pain making my body sing
I whisper in her ear that she will never tell anyone of what happens here or I will kill her
I tell her to accept her fate, to be happy that I am to bestow her with this gift
I begin to do what I came here for
As she stares blankly up at the sky
Never uttering a thing
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Wow, this poem basically disgusted me. I am sure that was what you were going for, and you did a good job. I have a hard time giving you criticism or praise, as this poem really made me want to vomit. You portrayed the villan very well. My only real criticism is that you should probably rate this work, 16+, since I think it would be inappropriate for anyone under that age to read this. I know this is probably of no help, but I have very little to say.
I do agree with anime-girl about the long lines. I think the poem looks a little awkward with two words in one line, and twelve in the other. maybe make the line lengths a little more consistent. and second thing is that there's no punctuation at the end of the lines, which makes it flow kinda weird. but other than those two things, I liked this poem. I mean it wasn't particularly eloquent or excellently worded, but the content in and of itself took some guts to write about, at least in my opinion. it’s a horrible subject to write about, which is precisely why I'm glad you wrote about it. the poem makes me feel disturbed and disgusted and absolutely depressed, but that's the way you're supposed to feel after reading something like that. so good job.
This is really good and your choice of words are excellent, but, I must add, with the really long lines, it looks awkward and clumsy. I recommend turning those long lines into two, shorter lines so the poem looks more smooth and less awkward. Other then that, good work!