I have been doing this for the past three years. Yet, everyday I feel this unwavering and nagging fear. How long have I got?
I caught her gazing at the pretty vase of vibrant flowers with an impalpable childish excitement on her face. The vase has been a part of her life for more than a month now . But she would never realize it. She would never know me either. This is what Alzheimer's does to you .
Her limbs held evidences of frostbites. Last night , she had strayed into the garden through the open gate, and not knowing where she was, began calling for help . But her slurred speech and rapidly disintegrating syllables ensured that she was unintelligible . She was left in the cold , until the security guard came by, several hours later. While shifting her to the bed , I noticed that her eyes were moist . Not with the dew , but with helpless tears .
The boy whom she had cradled affectionately in her arms, the boy who she nourished all through infancy to adulthood and the very boy around whom she had spun her entire world , calling him her “Son” had abandoned her on the pathetic pretext of her , his guardian angel , being a burden.
Once a celebrated speaker, who had inspired millions of young souls with the fascinating depths of her thoughts, now, had no idea that the word “Therapist” on my shirt was not formed by a random fusion of curves , but by “Alphabets” .
Whenever my name was called out, her eyes would light up with such intense excitement , as though it was something to be treasured. She never knew that for the past eighty years of her life, she had one too. She had forgotten her name.
She had not the slightest inkling of the fact that the Science which had managed to oust robust youths like Ebola and Zika was yet to turn all those dust and termite laden theories into the Elixir of Life for which she and numerous others pined endlessly .
Most of the time, she would even forget that the plate that held steaming hot food was meant to be eaten. Her medical files said that she was born into one of the most affluent baker family in town . Her weakening body systems meant that she would often wet her bed, and would just lay there, shivering. Many a times she has even been laughed at. But, now that realization was a faculty that she was no longer equipped with, she would just smile back at them, as though she was playing just another little game .
During summers , in order to nurse her parched throat , she would eagerly claw at the tumbler . But her fraying motor nerves always responded by dropping it on the floor .
And the sadness in her brown eyes at times like these was powerful enough to melt all of the Arctic’s Glaciers .
The wisdom that she had amassed through all these years melted away like the wax of an exhausted candle .
She had forgotten her golden childhood . She had forgotten her High School prom dance. She had forgotten her popsicle summers , her snow riddled winters . She had forgotten what it was to be alive and kicking ..
I always envisioned her as a rag doll ,who despite being severely ripped at the edges with all the cotton stuffing spilling out, was clinging to life with a buttoned smile .
Amidst these tumultuous thoughts, I became aware of tears dripping down my cheeks. She saw this , and despite the pain inflicted on her arms , she wiped away my tears and patted my head .
I knew then that she was going to live forever in my heart. Not as the patient who had lost the battle against Alzheimer’s , but as the stupendous Warrior who had triumphed over Life…
( Dedicated to the 35 million Alzheimer’s patients all over the world…)
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
Hey you--it's voiceofdragons coming in for a (mediocre) review. I'm going to be reviewing as I read.
"I caught her gazing at the pretty lace and vibrant flowers with an impalpable childish excitement on her face" I really like the description here.
The rest of this sentence--oh my goodness. This is really true. I have a great grandmother that we've recently put in a nursing home as her dementia and Alzheimer's was getting to much for us (being my family and I) to deal with. I've gotten in and sat down with her for 40 minutes before and she looks up at me and asks, "Oh! When did you get here?" I've been talking to you for the past hour, but alright.
"Her limbs held evidences of frostbites" here I'd take out the plural on "evidence" and "frostbite".
"Last night , she had strayed into the open gate, and not knowing where she was, began calling for help ." Last night she had strayed into the open gate and, not knowing where she was, began calling for help.
Careful about starting your sentences off with conjunctions.
Take out the comma after "she was left in the cold". I don't think it's really needed there.
Fourth paragraph is a run on sentence, I'd break this up.
You don't have to capitalise "Son", "Therapist", or "Alphabets".
"She had forgotten her name." That whole paragraph, man, you're breaking my heart. The paragraph after than, though, has me a little confused.
"Most the time, she would even forget that the plate held steaming hot food was meant to be eaten. Her medical files said that she was born into the most affluent baker family in town." The second sentence here seems out of place.
"are we can body systems meant that she would often want her bed, and would just lie there, shivering." She'd probably be hooked up to a catheter to avoid the wetting the bed problem, especially if she has trouble controlling her bladder. Any respectable place would not laugh at her for not being able to control her bladder. That's not professional at all.
"The wisdom that she had amassed through all these years melted away like the wax of an exhausted candle." I love this line. It's very telling. I also really liked, "I always envisioned her as a rag doll, who despite being severely ripped at the edges with all the cotton stuffing spilling out, was clinging to life with a buttoned smile."
You don't have to capitalise glaciers and high school.
You should police your commas in this work and the spacing between punctuation.
I really did enjoy this work. Keep it up!
Hey, crobbins here for another review!
So wow, Alzheimer's is a very touchy topic. Yet you managed to express it beautifully in telling the story of this woman. It is a very sad thing to have to deal with, yet diseases like this are, sadly, a part of life. Everyone deteriorates one way or another eventually, right?
So, I loved how you described this woman. Your descriptions of what she forgot with the onset of the disease helped me build a picture of what she was like before the disease. This makes the piece even more heart-wrenching. I can imagine what she was like, and picture what she is now...what she was.
I loved some of the symbolism and metaphor used here as well: "The wisdom that she had amassed through all these years melted away like the wax of an exhausted candle ." It helps the reader stay engaged.
Now, the one thing I do have to say is that I found the spaces you put between your punctuation marks and the word before them to be a little bit strange. An example is: "I always envisioned her as a rag doll ,who despite being severely ripped at the edges with all the cotton stuffing spilling out, was clinging to life with a buttoned smile ." I'm not sure if this was intentional, but I was confused by it a little bit.
I also could not find any other spelling/grammar issues!
I love how you ended the piece as well: "I knew then that she was going to live forever in my heart. Not as the patient who had lost the battle against Alzheimer’s , but as the stupendous Warrior who had triumphed over Life…" It gives the idea that although a disease can claim your life, it is what you do before the onset that makes you who you are. Bravo.
So, overall, I loved this piece (although am a little heartbroken)! I'd love to read more of your work!
-crobbins
WOW! that was really good! you did an awesome job! now this is only my second or third review so pleas tell me if I did something wrong.
Okay first just let me say that one of my favorite parts, was how you opened the paper that, that was nice how you asked a question that was good, and I like this part really good,
"I always envisioned her as a rag doll, who despite being severely ripped at the edges with all the cotton stuffing spilling out, was clinging to life with a buttoned smile."
its sad but its good, I liked it the only thing is that in that sentence their will be a few misplaced comma's but that can easily be fixed
so great job and keep writing!
MagicAce is out!
You gave a perfect review . Thanks a lot
shore! happy to help.