In Tarnished wings

N.B This, although it rhymes in places, is pretty free verse. I wrote this a few nights ago, but I'll try to let it explain itself.

In tarnished wings I fly between
The realms of right and wrong,
Of the world of love and power,
My faith so weak, it’s almost gone.

I try to reach out to God,
But he greets me with a Judas kiss,
And pushes me further back,
Into a echoless abyss.

And I wonder if I’m longed,
To hear the joyful ones,
Singing songs of praise
In triumphant voices
With horns and lyres.

Or perhaps,
Although a angel myself,
I was made,
To feel the hot, empty burn
Of you know where’s fires.

Suppose this cross for me to bear,
Holds someone else’s name,
And I’m left in tarnished wings,
With no one to look up to,
Yet with only myself to blame.