Published June 4, 2011
Trapped and no door will open. Lost and no where to be found. Fallen not on solid ground. Being to places at once, trying to find your way out. Scream but no one can hear a shout. Scared because you are alone, go and find your way back home. Inner voices in you head. Whispering sounds ‘you should be dead’. Trying to take the pressure of whishing it was someone else instead. The out come of it all was not what you were hoping for it to be. Opening your eye lids, making you see clearly. Leaning to the left cause it is your safety place, which is actually not the case. The outcome of it all has to be put in the past to make you strong, hoping that your life will last longer.
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140,581 Literary Works • 673,530 Reviews
.............You have made me scared of life... I LOVE IT!!!
hello there
Great piece. I'm going to do a few nitpicks, then the overall impression
no "h" in the beginning of "wishing"
You should also put this in stanza form instead of paragraph form, that way it's easier to see the rhyme pattern.
Why was there more emphasis on "trapped"? just a curious question.
Overall, you did a fantastic job. This really made me think about alot of things going on in my life. Great job of making it a questioning piece too!
keep writing! Let me know when you post more!
--Ash
I really liked this and the rhyme was good. Keep up the good work!
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